A Family Heals.

Mom's services were held this weekend in St. Louis. It was her wish to be buried next to her beloved daughter, Ellen, who we lost to cancer 14 years ago. Being with family for two days was hugely cathartic for me. So much love and support and grace.

I'm not even sure how much of it I'm ready to talk about yet. So many tears were shed. I will say this, though: the time I spent with the family — mourning, remembering, crying, laughing, hugging, holding — was far more healing for me than the actual service was. The service was beautiful, and I felt much more at peace after it was over. But I believe the real healing took place in communion with loved ones. Which is another reason why your kind words and messages have been so helpful to me.

This is my SIL Sharon. She is married to Chip's oldest brother, David, and they live out in Southern California. I love Sharon so much. Despite our age difference and our geographical distance, she feels every bit as much a true sister as my own does. And we are. Born not of the same mother's womb, but from the same mother's heart.

This is Sharon and David's daughters, Lisa and Lori. Lisa was Mom and Dad's first grandchild. They are Chip's nieces but they are older than he is! They are Orange County girls, as you can tell. Everyone in SoCal looks like a movie star. Lisa and Lori are passionate and beautiful women, inside and out. I love how close they are as sisters. It's such an inspiring thing.

This is Chip's oldest brother, David. Dave has the famous Hyman Hairline, which Chip, too, will be sporting very soon. He has been a tremendous help to Chip in making decisions about his parents. He and Sharon very unselfishly drove across the country to stay at our house while we were at the beach this summer, to help look after Mom & Dad while we were gone. Smokey kinda loves Dave now.

This is Rob and Nancy, the youngest of Chip's siblings and his wife. They live in New Jersey outside NYC. They have three great sons who were not able to come to St. Louis. The oldest is a very talented guitar teacher in New York who argues with me on facebook about my musical tastes; the middle son is married and lives in Israel; the youngest is Elijah's age and will leave for Israel in a week where he will complete his Senior year of high school. Nancy is always so patient with my unending questions and willing to explain to me the traditions carried out during an occasion such as this.

This is Claudia. She is the first born to Chip sister, Ellen. Claudia is a social worker, just like her mom. She lives in Chicago with her husband and two beautiful children. Claudia is so smart and she always makes everyone feel so at ease, which I understand is a trait that Ellie had. Remember when you were in college and there was that one really smart, cool girl that you kinda had a girl crush on because you secretly wished you could be just like her? Yeah, that's Claudia.

This is Claudia's younger brother, Micah. When their mom died, Elijah was just 2 1/2 years old. I remember thinking to myself that I would be so grateful to be able to do as good a job raising E as Ellie did with Micah. He's smart and generous and kind and I just adore his wife and little boy. Micah is a lawyer in St. Louis, but he's one of those principled lawyers who, like, helps old people or something. He's really quite amazing.

This is Rabbi Susan Talve. She was Ellen's Rabbi and conducted her services as well as Mom's. Rabbi Talve is an amazingly spiritual woman. Every time I am in her presence I feel the presence of God all the way to the core of my being. She is so inspirational and I am grateful for her contribution to our family's healing this weekend.

And this is my son, Elijah. His Nana was the first loss Elijah has had to face in his young life. He wrote a beautiful tribute to her on his facebook page. Since his dad chose to remain in Memphis with his father, Elijah stood in for Chip in all of the memorial traditions assumed by the departed's son — serving as pallbearer, participating in the Kria (tearing of the shirt), and, as the final gift one can give their deceased loved one, completely filling the grave with hand shovels following the services. I think that Elijah grew up this weekend in a way that you only can when you are faced with grief and heartache. I was exceedingly proud of him.