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It makes me sad to see a baby all decked out in an adorable Baby Gap outfit, accompanied by a mother in baggy sweats and hair that hasn't been cut in 18 months.
It bothers me to read tweets from women going to Blissdom who say they haven't thought about what they'll wear, but they have perfect outfits picked out for their babies!
It upsets me even more to see how many women are retweeting and agreeing.
These are the same women that we'll be seeing five years from now on Stacy & Clinton, dressing like homeless people because they've completely given up on taking care of themselves. I know how tempting it is to spend all your money and creative energies on your child, ladies, but it is so detrimental to YOU!
Let's think about this for a second: What is it you're hoping we think when we see your preciously dressed baby? That he's the cutest thing in the world? That you must be one great mom for taking such good care of him? What? What is it you're trying to express? Now let's look at the flip side of that coin: Doesn't it bother you what we're thinking about YOU? "Gee, what an adorable baby! Too bad his mother looks like shit on a stick."
She may be a baby now, but by the time she's in school, she'll be completely mortified to have people see you picking her up. Is that what you want for your child?
The thing is — and seriously, this is what is so disturbing to me — YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT. You are not just your baby's mother, you are a person in your own right, a woman who deserves more than what you're giving her. When I see a woman who has given up on the way she looks, I see a women who doesn't care about herself anymore, and that breaks my heart.
As women, we face enough negative images in the media every day, what with the airbrushing and the photoshopping and the fake magazine covers that a show seven-day-old mother with half her body magically erased. The only way we can fight this is with healthy body images. We have to love ourselves and who we are and I'm sorry, but if you're hiding behind over-sized sweats you are NOT loving yourself. And we're not loving you either. Frankly, you're giving moms a bad name.
Because there are no excuses for looking slovenly. It does not cost any more to dress yourself decently. It does not take any more time to put on something cute. It does not matter what your size is. There are no excuses.
7 comments:
I openly admit to putting my kids first- I just got a haircut yesterday, and in the time since my last cut, I've taken my sons for 3 haircuts! (My daughter hasn't had a cut in ages, but that's because she wants to grow it out to donate again). But even if I say I'm going to forgo buying new clothes or whatever for myself in favor of getting stuff for the kids, I agree that there is no excuse for slovenliness (is that a real word? Or did I just make it up?)
If I have to choose between buying a new pair of shoes for myself or buying a few more items of clothing for the kids, I will get the stuff for the kids. But I also refuse to leave the house in sweatpants, and my hair has not been in contact with a scrunchie or a ballcap in years.
More women need to find that middle ground, and realize that looking good really is possible, even while putting our kids as a top priority.
Amen sister!!!
At home on a snowy Saturday, I reserve the right to a sweatshirt, jeans and slippers; and my hair doing whatever it does after being snowed on.
I did not go out in public looking like this, however.
Sometimes I'm lazy....and sometimes I just DO NOT CARE. However, it's not because I'm a mom.
As a single mom, I did always try to have my son well taken care of so that people wouldn't think that I couldn't take care of him. Self-esteem issues I suppose.
I think it is difficult for us to try to strike a balance as mothers. We are told that we should meet a certain media ideal after giving birth and then we are also bombarded with messages that unless our kid is a Gap model then we have failed. I look back on pictures of my youth, my mother always had her hair styled and was dressed in stylish outfits and we kids were wearing hand-me-downs and were really happy just being kids. My daughter (age 7) loves fashion but she is just as happy and cute in a $25.00 Target outfit as she is in a $125.00 Hanna Anderson outfit. She is going to spill acrylic paint on both outfits and it is not so heart breaking to know that I am going to have to toss one out. Also, I left my child's father because he treated me an unworthy person and I did not want to perpetuate that cycle with my own daughter because I truly believe she will learn from me. If she watches her mommy not take care of herself then what will her own self-worth be in the future?
I seem to remember you were pretty upset about the babies at Blissdom last year, and not because their mothers looked like bag ladies.
Give a few young moms a break.
I had no problem with babies at Blissdom last year. The problem I had was with MOTHERS who wouldn't take their crying babies out of the room. I missed half the key note speaker because of a baby crying right behind me. I paid good money to attend that conference, I deserved to hear the speakers.
I didn't mind mothers bringing their babies at all. But having a baby doesn't give someone the right to interrupt the conference for others. It's rude and inconsiderate. THAT'S what I had a problem with.
And you say "give a few young moms a break" as though I was never a young mom.
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