"The lengths I go to"

Christmas at my house. It's had its ups and downs.

When I was drinking, I couldn't be bothered to do things like put up a tree or bake cookies or buy gifts. The first Christmas after I'd quit drinking (I was 11 months sober by then), I tried to make it up to my family by going all out - I put up & decorated the tree myself. I baked, I shopped, I gifted. It was exhausting.

When you only have one child and he has taken it upon himself to become a teenager, Christmas morning loses a lot of its magic. For one thing, the magic doesn't happen until like 11:30 in the morning. For another, there's nothing they need - or really want even - so there's a real dearth of presents under the tree.

I'm not a scrooge. I like the decorated and lit-up tree. I like lighting candles that make my house smell all Christmas-y. We used to always get a live tree, which was really important to me because my family always had an artificial one growing up. But then my Jewish husband decided that it made no sense whatsoever to spend money year after year on a live tree that would then be thrown out. He insisted we buy an artificial one.

And it's a good tree. But OMG the fluffing of it! It's torturous. It takes forever and I absolutely hate it. So I just haven't been able to make myself get it out yet. I've got the candles burning. I made cookies yesterday. But I'm still debating the Christmas tree.

So here's my brilliant solution: I will bribe E's friends with pizza and sodas and homemade cookies to come over and put up my tree. It'll be like a Christmas party! Hell, I'll even buy each of them a little gift. It'll be festive! And fun! And I'll get my tree up! And this, my friends, is the lengths I go to since I didn't have the foresight to birth enough children to do these things for me.