"Where they remain for weeks."

This weekend, we attack the clothes. Those evil, multiplying clothes. You know the ones - they simply refuse to stay put away in dark drawers or closets and insist instead on slithering out onto the floors where they much prefer to spend their days lounging around out in the light of day.

I kid, of course. The clothes don't actually escape to the floor and every available sitting surface in my home. That's just where we keep them.

It starts one of two ways: Either I have to be out of town over a weekend and so do not get the laundry done on my regular laundry day (Sunday, the day the lord made for laundry), so in a desperate measure for clean clothes, Chip will put a load or two in the washer. They will make it through to the dryer and then into a pile on the sofa. Where they will remain several weeks - if not MONTHS - later.
OR. I will do the laundry on my chosen laundry day - sort, haul*, wash, dry, fold** - allowing my self-righteousness to build up over the entire day, until by evening, I simply refuse to put the clothes away for grown men who are completely capable of putting their own damn clothes away. And you know how this story ends: the clean clothes end up sitting (at least folded this time) on the sofa for weeks...if not months.

I try to occasionally tackle it all but there's so much that it's overwhelming. Especially when you add sheets into the mix. And so, I have declared this Saturday as The Day We Will Take Care of The Clothes. Bag up the stuff that doesn't fit for Goodwill, box up the summer stuff, put away the clean and God help these boys if they try to throw clean clothes back into the laundry (the chosen strategy in this household for not putting clothes away).

Because let's be honest - part of the problem is that we just have too damn many clothes. Way more than we need. And when you've got so many clothes that they spill out into the room and you go for months without ever wearing them, it's time to do some scaling back.

I told Elijah not to plan to go anywhere Saturday morning until it was done. But I started my room tonight so that I can help him tackle his room on Saturday. Then the two of us will make our way down to the illegal alien clothes making their home in my living room. I estimate our house will be three big black garbage bags lighter come Sunday morning.




* Can somebody please explain to me why the washer and dryer can't be UPSTAIRS? You know...WHERE THE LAUNDRY IS??

** I know, I know. I got it so hard. What with the MACHINES to actually do the washing and the drying FOR me. Gone 20 years and I still hear my daddy's voice.