"Tim Gunn wants you to succeed."

Tim Gunn wants you to succeed.

He said so, on the premiere of Project Runway.

Okay, it was actually the recovering-meth-addict designer to whom he said "I want you to succeed." But I'm sure if Tim Gunn knew you, he would want you to succeed too. He just seems like that kind of guy.

Sometimes, the tough part for me is figuring out what the goals should be.

Knowing I can accomplish anything I put my mind to is irrelevant if I can't decide what it is I want. It sucks to work hard for something only to realize when you get there that it wasn't at all what you wanted. Neither me nor Tim Gunn has time for that.

For the longest time, my goal was to get my college degree. For some 12 years, actually. When I finally attained that one, I had a goal to get a good job, which I also achieved. I aimed at certain promotions, and got them. But then I kind of got sidetracked, and my goal became to pour as much alcohol down my throat as humanly possible. And I was very successful at that.

In January 2006, my goal became to stay sober. That one took a bit of work, but by the grace of God, I've been successful there as well. And while that continues to be a goal, I'm lucky that it's not something that consumes me every day, allowing me to focus on repairing relationships and fixing the things that I fucked up in my drinking years.

But what comes next? What do I want for myself now? It can be so hard to figure out. Because it's pretty simple really: I just want to be happy. But I'm not always sure what can bring me that.

"You know what John and Paul said."
"The Apostles?"
"No, the Beatles. 'All you need is love.'"

-Michael

Which isn't to say that material items can't bring happiness. Because I'm here to tell you that I've experienced some pretty euphoric joys riding around on beautiful spring and fall days with the top down on the Mercedes.

You know what makes me happy? Golden Girl reruns. A new Sarah Vowell book. When my dog, Smokey, winks at me. Meryl Streep as Julia Child. Fresh guacamole from Las Tortugas Mexican deli. Settling in with Big Daddy to watch Friday Night Lights. Comments on my blog. Riding with the top down.

I may not get my retirement beach cottage with a tiny pet turtle named Theodore sunning himself on the windowsill. But I will be happy. Tim Gunn really wants me to.