Posts
You know who is really smart? You know who deserves a big old fat-daddy raise? The person who came up with "Idol Gives Back."
Do you remember this from last year's American Idol? Ryan & the judges went to visit Africa? And Carrie Underwood remade that Pretenders song? And Kevin Bacon and Dr. House and that guy who's married to J.Lo and Hugh Grant and all those other people lip-synced to "Stayin Alive." Yeah, remember that show?
Fucking brilliant, I tell you.
OK, well the video maybe wasn't brilliant. The video may have been a spectacular waste of television minutes which, let's face it, AI does a lot. Nevertheless, the whole Idol Gives Back concept was just fucking brilliant.
Becauase look what you've got to start with: a TV phenomenon. For the most part, celebrities have been pretty willing to appear on the show simply because there's a good chance at least fifty percent of the free world will be tuning in. So we've got ourselves a little hit here; we don't really need celebrities. We're making outrageous ratings without celebrities. If we wanted to get really greedy with viewers, what could we do to make every single A-list celebrity on the scene simply bang down our door to get on the show? Hmmm...oh! What about a CHARITY?
Because it doesn't get any more WIN-WIN than that: AI and A-list. Now that you've got celebs attached to the program, the sponsors are gonna come out of the woodwork to get their name attached to this. Cool, now all the expenses are covered - AI can fly a plane full of singers to a whole other continent AND IT DOESN'T COST THEM A THING.
Ryan doesn't even have to ask all those AI callers to pledge any money. All they have to do is make their usual calls for their contestents - hell, we'll even leave the phone lines open TWICE AS LONG as usual - and our generous sponsors will donate the money! Next thing you know, $76 million is going to Second Harvest and Save the Children and UNICEF. Woot!
The thing is, they didn't have to do it. They still would've gotten top ratings. And I don't believe they did it because they had a responsibility to give back wah wah wah. Oh no, they did it for one reason only: Because HOLY SHIT IT COULD BE HUGE!
This is PR at its finest, people. All the media has bought into the hype. I mean, who's going to say anything negative about a multi-million-dollar effort to single-handedly wipe out world hunger? Even Bono bestowed his holy sanctification. And this year? Brad Pitt. There's no stopping this PR machine, baby.
It is so fucking brilliant, they should have fired every person who didn't think of it.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Bilson got banged.
Perhaps she was trying to hide the crow's feet, because man, she's got a lot of crow's feet for a girl her age. What is she - 25? Hell, she's got a lot of crow's feet for a girl MY age. Rachel honey, you better get you some moisturizer.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
A day late and an undergarment short
The big trend in Oscar dresses this year was one-shoulder:
Amy Ryan, from Gone Baby Gone.
Hillary Swank
Dianne Lane
Anne Hathaway, who should reconsider this particular pose in this particular dress, as it makes her look like her left arm has been amputated.
Katherine Heigl's dress is pretty (if repetitive for her) but holy crap who is styling this girl from the neck-up?
Darken up her eyebrows a bit and it's like 1986 all over again.
In other categories, we've got the Try Too Hard Much?
Miley Cyrus
The Jennifer Garner or Faye Dunaway: You Decide Category:
The Most Likely To Have Been Voted Cutest Couple In High School At The Oscars:
Casey Affleck and his wife, who don't appear all that happy to be there really.
Leading the I Love Them Dearly But I Swear Sometimes They're Both Carved Out Of Cream Cheese Category:
George & Sara
In the Five Months Pregnant? Are You Sure? Category:
Nicole Kidman
In the I Know It's Your Thing To Be Edgy, But Since When Did Edgy = Dressing Like One Of The Golden Girls Category, we have a tie:
Oh, Diablo. I want to love you, I really really do. But what is this? It looks like a night gown. That happened to be cut up to your hoo-hah. So not a good choice. And OMG, there are sooo many things you could've worn that would have been edgy on you. You could have rocked some killer dress that no one else could pull off. And you went with this. I'm very disappointed in you.
As well as Ellen Page. You're young. You're cute. You have a great name. You can still get a handle on this thing. Start with a stylist.
Kerri Russell is Best/Playing It Safe. A close up:
Knocking 'em out, Felicity!
Marion Cotillard is Best/Taking A Risk. The opinions on this dress have been quite extreme. I'm not saying I love it. I don't think I would wear it. But she's French! And the dress is French! And the whole French package just works for me. Especially with that gold-statuette-accessory.
Helen Mirren is Best/She Never Lets Me Down
Penelope Cruz is A Best/I Can Finally Agree With. She should never wear her hair pulled back tight again:
Heidi Klum is Best/There Is No Over-The-Top, It's The Oscars Bitches! Someone had to step up with J.Lo out of the picture. The head shot:
How much do you love all that fake hair? I freaking LOVE IT!
At the other end of the spectrum from The Good is The Bad and The Crazy:
DDL's wife (whose name I don't even know) is Worst/WFT IS SHE WEARING??
Cameron Diaz is Worst/Is It The Oscars Or A Day Of Surfing? The dress was pretty bad, too:
Especially from the back:
And frankly, you'd think she would've learned her lesson last year, when she wore practially the exact same dress: 
Monday, February 25, 2008
No dresses here
I know you're here looking for my Oscar fashion commentary and I'm sorry it's not here and I promise it's coming but I think I have the flu? So the only movie photos you're gonna see here today are for SiCKO.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The Show
7:42 - Jon Stewart is killing!! "Normally, when there's a woman or a black man president, it's because an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty."
7:44 - Jennifer Garner's make up looks really pretty. Still not feeling the smoshed boobs though, Rachael.
(Umm...sorry...I've been watching the show, but I've been searching the interweb for red carpet photos.)
8:41 - Whoa...Tilda Swinton won. That was a shocker. I'm glad b/c she was awesome in that movie but I really expected Cate to take it or if not her than Ruby Dee who, did I mention she is 83?? Anyhoo, I think Tilda is an exceptional actress but what's with this whole androgenous thing she's got going on? Talking about how her agent looks just like Oscar. Bitch, YOU look like Oscar.
8:48 - who's luckier: Josh Brolin, for being married to Diane Lane, or Diane Lane, being married to Josh Brolin? I can't decide.
8:54 - Every year they try to make the balloting process interesting and every year they fail miserably. I heard a report about it on NPR and they said that they have cards printed up for each of the nominees and then the two guys with the briefcases? They're the only ones that see the totals and they pull the winning card and toss the others.
8:56 - I swear Kristin Chenoweth has more talent in her little finger than the whole rest of the Kodak Theater put together. Remember when she told Ellen Degeneres to sing from her hoo-ha? Good stuff.
9:03 - OMG Seth & Jonah - not usually my kind of humor but this bit is freaking hilarious. "I look more like Hallie Berry." "Dude, we look exacdtly alike."
9:14 - Lead Actress - another upset! I'm so glad - I loved Marion Cotilliard in that movie. But everyone picked Julie Christie. Look how fabulous she looks. "It is true! There is some angels in this city!"
9:20 - seriously, Collin. Take a shower. It's not cool anymore.
9:21 - man, I SO want the song from "Once" to win...If you didn't read my post about that movie, you really should go back and read it. I'll try to find the link for you.
9:51 - happiest award all night. "Once" won for best song. "Make art! Make art!"
9:53 - Jon Stewart: "Wow, that guy is so arrogant."
9:59 - Jon let Marketa come back out since she didn't get to speak. I've never seen them do that before but I'm so glad they did.
10:11 - you know what I just noticed? Keira Knightley's not here. Why would she not be there with all the nominations "Atonement" received?
10:15 - I understand that girl is excited to win an Oscar for her documentary short but seriously. You're on TV. CLOSE YOUR MOUTH.
10:18 - holy crap these documentary features are some depressing films.
10:19 - I think after 10 p.m. they should have some kind of ticker on the side of the screen that counts down how much time is actually left in the program. Because there still seems an awful lot to go. And shit, I have to go to work in the morning.
10:28 - yea! the stripper won. I'm embarrassed to admit that I haven't seen "Juno" yet, but every clip I've seen of it is completely hilarious.
10:32 - I know I've talked often about my crush on Helen Mirren, but I just have one more thing to say: I think we have the same hair cut.
10:33 - DDL kinda scares me, and I have not seen that movie and frankly I don't know really even know what it's about (oil?) but that clip they just showed of his performance REALLY scares me.
10:37 - huh? WTF is he talking about? I'm pretty sure no one in the room knows but him.
10:40 - another MIA: the commercial for Jimmy Kimmel's "After Oscar" show tonight advertised that Ben Affleck would be on. So where's his ass tonight? Jennifer's there. His brother's nominated. The girl from his directing debut is there. Where the hell is he?
10:44 - Achievement in Directing - the Cohen brothers. We kinda suspected that, didn't we? But how does a movie have two directors? I'm just wondering.
10:46 - also, did you know Frances McDormand is married to Joel Cohen? I did not.
10:48 - No Country. No surprise. The surprise to me is that Cormac McCarthy is even there. I thought he was a recluse?
Come back tomorrow for photos and fashion recap.
xoxo
7:44 - Jennifer Garner's make up looks really pretty. Still not feeling the smoshed boobs though, Rachael.
(Umm...sorry...I've been watching the show, but I've been searching the interweb for red carpet photos.)
8:41 - Whoa...Tilda Swinton won. That was a shocker. I'm glad b/c she was awesome in that movie but I really expected Cate to take it or if not her than Ruby Dee who, did I mention she is 83?? Anyhoo, I think Tilda is an exceptional actress but what's with this whole androgenous thing she's got going on? Talking about how her agent looks just like Oscar. Bitch, YOU look like Oscar.
8:48 - who's luckier: Josh Brolin, for being married to Diane Lane, or Diane Lane, being married to Josh Brolin? I can't decide.
8:54 - Every year they try to make the balloting process interesting and every year they fail miserably. I heard a report about it on NPR and they said that they have cards printed up for each of the nominees and then the two guys with the briefcases? They're the only ones that see the totals and they pull the winning card and toss the others.
8:56 - I swear Kristin Chenoweth has more talent in her little finger than the whole rest of the Kodak Theater put together. Remember when she told Ellen Degeneres to sing from her hoo-ha? Good stuff.
9:03 - OMG Seth & Jonah - not usually my kind of humor but this bit is freaking hilarious. "I look more like Hallie Berry." "Dude, we look exacdtly alike."
9:14 - Lead Actress - another upset! I'm so glad - I loved Marion Cotilliard in that movie. But everyone picked Julie Christie. Look how fabulous she looks. "It is true! There is some angels in this city!"
9:20 - seriously, Collin. Take a shower. It's not cool anymore.
9:21 - man, I SO want the song from "Once" to win...If you didn't read my post about that movie, you really should go back and read it. I'll try to find the link for you.
9:51 - happiest award all night. "Once" won for best song. "Make art! Make art!"
9:53 - Jon Stewart: "Wow, that guy is so arrogant."
9:59 - Jon let Marketa come back out since she didn't get to speak. I've never seen them do that before but I'm so glad they did.
10:11 - you know what I just noticed? Keira Knightley's not here. Why would she not be there with all the nominations "Atonement" received?
10:15 - I understand that girl is excited to win an Oscar for her documentary short but seriously. You're on TV. CLOSE YOUR MOUTH.
10:18 - holy crap these documentary features are some depressing films.
10:19 - I think after 10 p.m. they should have some kind of ticker on the side of the screen that counts down how much time is actually left in the program. Because there still seems an awful lot to go. And shit, I have to go to work in the morning.
10:28 - yea! the stripper won. I'm embarrassed to admit that I haven't seen "Juno" yet, but every clip I've seen of it is completely hilarious.
10:32 - I know I've talked often about my crush on Helen Mirren, but I just have one more thing to say: I think we have the same hair cut.
10:33 - DDL kinda scares me, and I have not seen that movie and frankly I don't know really even know what it's about (oil?) but that clip they just showed of his performance REALLY scares me.
10:37 - huh? WTF is he talking about? I'm pretty sure no one in the room knows but him.
10:40 - another MIA: the commercial for Jimmy Kimmel's "After Oscar" show tonight advertised that Ben Affleck would be on. So where's his ass tonight? Jennifer's there. His brother's nominated. The girl from his directing debut is there. Where the hell is he?
10:44 - Achievement in Directing - the Cohen brothers. We kinda suspected that, didn't we? But how does a movie have two directors? I'm just wondering.
10:46 - also, did you know Frances McDormand is married to Joel Cohen? I did not.
10:48 - No Country. No surprise. The surprise to me is that Cormac McCarthy is even there. I thought he was a recluse?
Come back tomorrow for photos and fashion recap.
xoxo
LIVE BLOGGING THE RED CARPET!!
(Hit refresh to update. And please feel free to add your own commentary in the comments below.)
5:16 - In the category WTF Are THEY Doing At The Oscars, are...Heidi Klum & Seal! Have either of them ever even been in a movie? Hell, I'm not sure either of them have ever even been TO the movies.
5:22 - Note to Joey Fatone and Lisa Rinna: Who the hell do you think you are...Billy Crystal? Please.
5:23 - Is that that guy from "Sweet Home Alabama"? I love him. I have no idea what his name is. Or if that's even him.
5:25 - OH GOD! GEORGE! GEORGE IS HERE!!! He looks picture perfect, as usual.
Note: I have a hate-hate relationship with pretty much everyone who does Red Carpet coverage. I've yet to see any of them live up to my own expectations of how well I could do it. Here on my cable, I have two options for coverage: Lisa Rinna & Joey Fatone on the TV Guide Channel and Ryan Seacrest over on E!. I will be flipping back and forth a bit, but given the choice between Ryan Seacrest and the Devil himself, I would have to go with Satan. So I will be leaning heavily toward the fat-lipped girl on TV Guide.
5:36 - No one's really here yet, so they're reviewing the people who have come in already: Heidi, Seal & George. Heidi does look amazing. What do you think they put up inside that bun to make her hair that full?
5:39 - sqeee! Is that Kristin Chenowith? I SO want to be her when I grow up.
5:41 - Jason Bateman? McDreamy? How do all these TV people get in? I heard Charlize Theron said that she'd be watching at home in her PJs. She said she thought only the nominees should attend. And while that would make for a rather short red carpet show, I do think that it should be limited to people IN THE MOVIES.
5:45 - heh heh. It's raining on Ryan.
5:46 - oh. Jason Bateman was in Juno. My bad. Come to think of it, I guess McDreamy was in that Disney movie, too.
5:48 - ohmygodohmygodohmygod...Kristin Chenowith is singing tonight!!
5:49 - Annie Hathaway - love her, but never care all that much for that way she looks. Wish she would get a new stylist.
5:50 - the former stripper who wrote Juno is there. Nice tat.
Note: Just in case you're wondering if I'm much of a mult-tasker, I just want ya'll to know that, in addition to live-blogging the Oscar Red Carpet, I am also cooking chili for my family's dinner AND doing laundry. In one second I'm gonna have to go take the clothes out of the dryer so bear with me...
5:59 - Amy Adams. So freaking cute.
6:00 - Lisa Rinna, every single person that walks up to you for an interview you claim to have known FOREVER. All you're really doing is making us realize HOW FREAKING OLD YOU ARE.
6:02 - John Travolta looks like his head is out-growing his hair.
6:03 - blah blah blah...who are these people?
6:04 - They asked Miley Cyrus to be a presenter, which is a pretty obvious move to bring in younger viewers, no?
6:05 - do you think Diablo is her given or her stripper name?
6:07 - Lisa makes her THIRD reference to knowing someone a long time...(George Clooney this time)
6:13 - Didn't even recognize Jennifer Garner. She kinda looks like she forgot to comb her hair.
6:14 - Daniel Day could also use a good combing.
6:14 - Mickey Rooney's still alive? Who knew. Let's hope they learned something from the SAG show and keep him away from the microphone.
6:15 - Jessica Alba arrives. I'm going to count how many times they use the p-word.
6:16 - Helen Mirren. My other love.
6:16 - I'ma tell you something: Steve Carrell is not some kind of gorgeous, but him & his wife together? Barbie and fucking Ken.
6:18 - The Rock. He's going by "Duane Johnson" tonight. Is that a new thing for him or is he trying to up his credibility factor for the Oscars?
6:24 - is that Kerri Russell? OMG great dress!
6:25 - Amy Adams has THE most beautiful hair color ever. (Ooops. Lisa has twice said something to her about her nomination...which she DOES NOT HAVE. And now she's asking Amy if SHE'S embarassed. Geez, she's as bad as Seacrest.)
6:26 - Javier Bardem has cut his hair too short. He is such a handsome man but let's face it - he has a big face. He needs long-ish hair. Not like, Dora the Explorer page boy. But long-ish.
Note: OK, so I have, in the last 30 minutes, successfully cooked and served up dinner. Be patient with me now while I empty the dishwasher and fill it up again. In between arrivals. And loads of laundry.
6:32 - Gary Bussey is here with his...attorney?
6:33 - I love Tilda Swinson as an actress but she is certainly no fashion icon.
6:33 - Cameron Diaz's hair looks like she's going to spend the afternoon at the beach.
6:35 - Laura Linney looks nice. Not spectacular, but not awful either, which she's been known to do.
6:36 - Ruby Dee looks so great. Holy shit. She's 83??? She looks FAB!!
6:37 - That American Idol girl looks 100 times better than she did last year when she won.
6:39 - I thought Marion Cotillarrd was the best dressed at SAG and she is definitely in the running for repeating that distinction tonight. Dancing with the Stars??
6:53 - has Cameron Diaz always had such an annoying voice?
6:54 - I hate Kathryn Heigel's hair. Did she cut it for a movie?
6:56 - Penelope Cruz looks really pretty. She always gets on the Best lists but I never really care for the way she looks. Can't see her dress yet but the hair & make-up is two big thumbs up.
6:58 - love the color of Cate Blancett's dress but not too sure about the neckline.
6:59 - Hal Holbrook is older than God. What is he nominated for? Lisa just cut off their interview and didn't even bother asking Dixie Carter who she was wearing.
7:01 - oh that Casey Affleck is just so darn cute, isn't he? Oh hey, his wife too! Wait...is he old enough to be married? Lisa just offered him gum. Does his breath smell?
Note: TV Guide coverage just went over. I thought that meant the show was coming on. What channel is it on? What TIME is it on? I switched over to ABC and now we got Regis covering the Red Carpet. God...will it never end?
7:06 - who is this moron interviewing Marian Cotillard? She just asked her, "Before you did this movie, did you know anything about Edith Piaf?" Bitch, SHE'S FRENCH. Of course she knew about the French songbird.
7:15 - Jennifer Garner's boobs are so smashed they may never return.
7:16 - Helen Mirren, fabulous as ever. Definitely gets my vote for top 3 Best Dressed. Fab, Dame, Fab.
7:16 - OMG DDL's wife's dress is atrocious. Sorry, Dear. She may be Worst.
7:24 - Ellen Page from Juno just gave a really smart interview. Despite the fact that the interviewer is a total dumbass.
Here's my Top 5 Best Dressed:
1. Kerri Russell
2. Marion Cotillard
3. Helen Mirren
4. Amy Adams
5. Maybe Heidi Klum or maybe Penelope Cruz, whose dress I never did get a good look at.
5:16 - In the category WTF Are THEY Doing At The Oscars, are...Heidi Klum & Seal! Have either of them ever even been in a movie? Hell, I'm not sure either of them have ever even been TO the movies.
5:22 - Note to Joey Fatone and Lisa Rinna: Who the hell do you think you are...Billy Crystal? Please.
5:23 - Is that that guy from "Sweet Home Alabama"? I love him. I have no idea what his name is. Or if that's even him.
5:25 - OH GOD! GEORGE! GEORGE IS HERE!!! He looks picture perfect, as usual.
Note: I have a hate-hate relationship with pretty much everyone who does Red Carpet coverage. I've yet to see any of them live up to my own expectations of how well I could do it. Here on my cable, I have two options for coverage: Lisa Rinna & Joey Fatone on the TV Guide Channel and Ryan Seacrest over on E!. I will be flipping back and forth a bit, but given the choice between Ryan Seacrest and the Devil himself, I would have to go with Satan. So I will be leaning heavily toward the fat-lipped girl on TV Guide.
5:36 - No one's really here yet, so they're reviewing the people who have come in already: Heidi, Seal & George. Heidi does look amazing. What do you think they put up inside that bun to make her hair that full?
5:39 - sqeee! Is that Kristin Chenowith? I SO want to be her when I grow up.
5:41 - Jason Bateman? McDreamy? How do all these TV people get in? I heard Charlize Theron said that she'd be watching at home in her PJs. She said she thought only the nominees should attend. And while that would make for a rather short red carpet show, I do think that it should be limited to people IN THE MOVIES.
5:45 - heh heh. It's raining on Ryan.
5:46 - oh. Jason Bateman was in Juno. My bad. Come to think of it, I guess McDreamy was in that Disney movie, too.
5:48 - ohmygodohmygodohmygod...Kristin Chenowith is singing tonight!!
5:49 - Annie Hathaway - love her, but never care all that much for that way she looks. Wish she would get a new stylist.
5:50 - the former stripper who wrote Juno is there. Nice tat.
Note: Just in case you're wondering if I'm much of a mult-tasker, I just want ya'll to know that, in addition to live-blogging the Oscar Red Carpet, I am also cooking chili for my family's dinner AND doing laundry. In one second I'm gonna have to go take the clothes out of the dryer so bear with me...
5:59 - Amy Adams. So freaking cute.
6:00 - Lisa Rinna, every single person that walks up to you for an interview you claim to have known FOREVER. All you're really doing is making us realize HOW FREAKING OLD YOU ARE.
6:02 - John Travolta looks like his head is out-growing his hair.
6:03 - blah blah blah...who are these people?
6:04 - They asked Miley Cyrus to be a presenter, which is a pretty obvious move to bring in younger viewers, no?
6:05 - do you think Diablo is her given or her stripper name?
6:07 - Lisa makes her THIRD reference to knowing someone a long time...(George Clooney this time)
6:13 - Didn't even recognize Jennifer Garner. She kinda looks like she forgot to comb her hair.
6:14 - Daniel Day could also use a good combing.
6:14 - Mickey Rooney's still alive? Who knew. Let's hope they learned something from the SAG show and keep him away from the microphone.
6:15 - Jessica Alba arrives. I'm going to count how many times they use the p-word.
6:16 - Helen Mirren. My other love.
6:16 - I'ma tell you something: Steve Carrell is not some kind of gorgeous, but him & his wife together? Barbie and fucking Ken.
6:18 - The Rock. He's going by "Duane Johnson" tonight. Is that a new thing for him or is he trying to up his credibility factor for the Oscars?
6:24 - is that Kerri Russell? OMG great dress!
6:25 - Amy Adams has THE most beautiful hair color ever. (Ooops. Lisa has twice said something to her about her nomination...which she DOES NOT HAVE. And now she's asking Amy if SHE'S embarassed. Geez, she's as bad as Seacrest.)
6:26 - Javier Bardem has cut his hair too short. He is such a handsome man but let's face it - he has a big face. He needs long-ish hair. Not like, Dora the Explorer page boy. But long-ish.
Note: OK, so I have, in the last 30 minutes, successfully cooked and served up dinner. Be patient with me now while I empty the dishwasher and fill it up again. In between arrivals. And loads of laundry.
6:32 - Gary Bussey is here with his...attorney?
6:33 - I love Tilda Swinson as an actress but she is certainly no fashion icon.
6:33 - Cameron Diaz's hair looks like she's going to spend the afternoon at the beach.
6:35 - Laura Linney looks nice. Not spectacular, but not awful either, which she's been known to do.
6:36 - Ruby Dee looks so great. Holy shit. She's 83??? She looks FAB!!
6:37 - That American Idol girl looks 100 times better than she did last year when she won.
6:39 - I thought Marion Cotillarrd was the best dressed at SAG and she is definitely in the running for repeating that distinction tonight. Dancing with the Stars??
6:53 - has Cameron Diaz always had such an annoying voice?
6:54 - I hate Kathryn Heigel's hair. Did she cut it for a movie?
6:56 - Penelope Cruz looks really pretty. She always gets on the Best lists but I never really care for the way she looks. Can't see her dress yet but the hair & make-up is two big thumbs up.
6:58 - love the color of Cate Blancett's dress but not too sure about the neckline.
6:59 - Hal Holbrook is older than God. What is he nominated for? Lisa just cut off their interview and didn't even bother asking Dixie Carter who she was wearing.
7:01 - oh that Casey Affleck is just so darn cute, isn't he? Oh hey, his wife too! Wait...is he old enough to be married? Lisa just offered him gum. Does his breath smell?
Note: TV Guide coverage just went over. I thought that meant the show was coming on. What channel is it on? What TIME is it on? I switched over to ABC and now we got Regis covering the Red Carpet. God...will it never end?
7:06 - who is this moron interviewing Marian Cotillard? She just asked her, "Before you did this movie, did you know anything about Edith Piaf?" Bitch, SHE'S FRENCH. Of course she knew about the French songbird.
7:15 - Jennifer Garner's boobs are so smashed they may never return.
7:16 - Helen Mirren, fabulous as ever. Definitely gets my vote for top 3 Best Dressed. Fab, Dame, Fab.
7:16 - OMG DDL's wife's dress is atrocious. Sorry, Dear. She may be Worst.
7:24 - Ellen Page from Juno just gave a really smart interview. Despite the fact that the interviewer is a total dumbass.
Here's my Top 5 Best Dressed:
1. Kerri Russell
2. Marion Cotillard
3. Helen Mirren
4. Amy Adams
5. Maybe Heidi Klum or maybe Penelope Cruz, whose dress I never did get a good look at.
Because there is another big event this weekend
Every couple of years, I look at the list of Oscar nominees and there will be a name included among the Hollywood heavy hitters that totally knocks me for a loop. I'm not talking about the ones who develop gradually over a few years from The Fresh Prince into well-respected actors. It's one thing to look at Leo and laugh "Ha ha! Remember when he was on Growing Pains??" but it's not like we didn't NOTICE that he was becoming an esteemed thespian.
No, I'm talking about the ones that really take you aback. You're reading down the list of names and suddenly you go, "Whoa! Wha...who?? WTF?? Wasn't he just fighting socs with Pony Boy???" Let's face it: there are names you expect to see on the list, and there are names that you just KNOW will never be included. Like people who got their start on Saturday Night Live. Or Welcome Back, Kotter.
So, in honor of tonight's Oscars, here is my list of names I certainly never expected to see included. And yet there they were:
No, I'm talking about the ones that really take you aback. You're reading down the list of names and suddenly you go, "Whoa! Wha...who?? WTF?? Wasn't he just fighting socs with Pony Boy???" Let's face it: there are names you expect to see on the list, and there are names that you just KNOW will never be included. Like people who got their start on Saturday Night Live. Or Welcome Back, Kotter.
So, in honor of tonight's Oscars, here is my list of names I certainly never expected to see included. And yet there they were:
Goldie Hawn, Best Actress, 1980 (Private Benjamin)
That goofy girl from Laugh In?? Seriously??
Pat Morita, Best Supporting Actor, 1984 (The Karate Kid)
Richie Cunningham as a successful director I can buy. But Arnold? As an Oscar nominee? Not so much.
Dan Akroyd, Best Supporting Actor, 1989 (Driving Miss Daisy)
Select one: Blues Brother. Conehead. "Jane...you ignorant slut." Academy Award nominee.
John Travolta, Best Actor, 1994 (Pulp Fiction)
Vinnie Barbarino may have had the comeback of the century.
Woody Harrelson, Best Actor, 1996 (The People vs. Larry Flynt)
It's 1987, and you're sitting around with some friends watching "Cheers." Quick - pick the character who will one day be nominated for an Oscar.
*cricket*cricket*
Queen Latifah, Best Supporting Actress, 2002 (Chicago)
Her transformation from rap star to respected actor was a little more sudden than Will Smith's.
Bill Murray, Best Actor, 2003 (Lost in Translation)
The guy from "Stripes" gets the runner-up award for Biggest Comeback.
Matt Dillon, Best Supporting Actor, 2005 (Crash)
See above, re: fighting socs with Pony Boy.
Three 6 Mafia, Best Original Song, 2005 (Hustle & Flow)
As host Jon Stewart noted, these guys had an Oscar BEFORE MARTIN SCORSESE did. Go figure.
Now...on with the show.
Blue Sunday (in the sad sort of way. Not the Tiger-Blue sort of way.)
It's a somber, gray day here this morning. Disappointed fans are saying, "Just wait til we meet again in the Final Four!" But I'm saying no way we make it to the Final Four if we can't MAKE A FUCKING REBOUND.
(Doubly sadly for us, My Kid's basketball team - which was also, coincidentally, #1 - got beat by the #2 team in their league yesterday morning. So we were oh-for-two yesterday.)
(Doubly sadly for us, My Kid's basketball team - which was also, coincidentally, #1 - got beat by the #2 team in their league yesterday morning. So we were oh-for-two yesterday.)
These are for Alayna. No way I'm eating the damn orange ones.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
My contribution to tonight's party
M is for MEMPHIS (Here's how my first batch turned out: in a goopy, chocolate-and-blue pretzel mess on the floor.)
(And in case you're wondering, no, you can not rinse melty chocolate off of blue m&m's and have them retain their blue coloring.)
Let's hope the Tigers have better luck tonight.
Friday, February 22, 2008
I'm gonna try to explain this to you in terms you can understand
#1 - We. Hate. UT Vols.
I don't even know how to tell you how much. We always want to beat UT, no matter what the circumstances. There are a number of reasons for this fiery loathing:
a) UT has had national championship teams before. Not in basketball, but in football. Memphis, on the other hand, has not.
b) Orange is a really ugly color.
c) They think they're so fucking superior to us just because they live in the Smokey Mountains and we live in the concrete jungle. A girl I know who went to UT said to me: "You think it's a rivalry. We don't think it's a rivalry." Like we're not even good enough to be their rivals.
d) Also, that "Rocky Top" song is really fucking annoying.
e) There's the whole bandwagon issue for me. So what they're from your state? They're like 400 miles away. How is that any sort of hometown team?
f) It pretty much sucks to live down here in the middle of the SEC. Did I mention the whole superiority thing?
One day in an elementary school in Knoxville, a teacher asks her class if the Tennessee Volunteers are their favorite basketball team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite basketball team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Memphis Tigers"
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Tiger fan, my mom is a Tiger fan, I guess that makes me a Tiger fan."
The teacher, angered by his reply, says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Tennessee fan."
#2 - It's for a #1 Ranking
Cal says this game is about ego, but let's not forget that the winner comes out with a #1 spot on the national polls next week. (A #1 spot that Memphis has held for five weeks, I might add.) (That UT has NEVER held in men's basketball.) This game would be big no matter who the two teams were.
Q: Why do Vols fans have to wait until Sunday morning to drive back to Knoxville?
A: They don't have headlights on their tractors.
#3 - In-State 1 vs 2
An in-state #1 vs. #2 hardly EVER happens. Here's the very short history of such a match up:
No. 2 North Carolina 97, No. 1 Duke 73, Chapel Hill, N.C., 1998
No. 2 North Carolina 89, No. 1 Duke 78, Chapel Hill, N.C., 1994
No. 2 Cincinnati 71, No. 1 Ohio State 59, Louisville, Ky., 1962 (NCAA Championship)
No. 2 Cincinnati 70, No. 1 Ohio State 65 (OT), Kansas City, Mo., 1961 (NCAA Championship)
A Memphis fan walks into a Knoxville bar and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?"
"No" replied the man, "I'm from Memphis."
The bartender looks at him and says "Well what do you do in Memphis?"
"I'm a taxidermist," said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"
The man looked at the bartender and said, "Well, I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"
#4 - Un De Fee Ted
Memphis is the only undefeated team in NCAA. Most people agree that if we get past UT, Memphis will enter the NCAA tournament undefeated, which hasn't been done since UNLV in 1991. Memphis really wants to protect that killer 26-and-oh record. Which leads to...
#5 - Oh Ver Ray Ted
Sports fans everywhere think Memphis doesn't deserve the #1 spot, even with the only undefeated record in the NCAA. We're the Rodney Dangerfield of basketball. When it looked like we were going to lose to UAB last week, ESPN put up a big "Undefeated No More!" headline on their web site before the game was even over. They'd never do that to Carolina. We play the hardest non-conference schedule in all the league, but still people say "Put them in the ACC and see if they're still undefeated wah wah wah."
Q: What's the best way to get a UT fan off your doorstep?
A: Pay for the pizza.
#6 - Winning Streaks
We have a 45-game regular season winning streak, the longest since Indiana's 57 in a row from the 1974-75 season into the 1976-77 season. We also have the longest home winning streak in the country. I think we're up to 47?
Q: Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
A: They watch football on Saturdays, go deer hunting on Sundays, and pick up trash on the highway the rest of the week.
#7 - Only Game in Town
We don't have an NFL team, and the NBA Grizzlies suck ass, so the Tigers is all we got. It's pretty much always been that way here.
Two soldiers in a far off land were captured by the enemy. Since the terrorists wanted to show that they weren't as barbaric as everyone thought, they decided to offer each man a last request before his execution.
They asked the first man (a UT grad): "Do you have a last request?"
He replied: "Yes, I'd like to hear 'Rocky Top' just one last time."
His captor responded with: "I think we could arrange that."
The second man (a Memphis grad) is asked the same question: "Do you have a last request?"
The Memphis grad replies: "Yeah, shoot me first."
I don't even know how to tell you how much. We always want to beat UT, no matter what the circumstances. There are a number of reasons for this fiery loathing:
a) UT has had national championship teams before. Not in basketball, but in football. Memphis, on the other hand, has not.
b) Orange is a really ugly color.
c) They think they're so fucking superior to us just because they live in the Smokey Mountains and we live in the concrete jungle. A girl I know who went to UT said to me: "You think it's a rivalry. We don't think it's a rivalry." Like we're not even good enough to be their rivals.
d) Also, that "Rocky Top" song is really fucking annoying.
e) There's the whole bandwagon issue for me. So what they're from your state? They're like 400 miles away. How is that any sort of hometown team?
f) It pretty much sucks to live down here in the middle of the SEC. Did I mention the whole superiority thing?
One day in an elementary school in Knoxville, a teacher asks her class if the Tennessee Volunteers are their favorite basketball team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite basketball team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Memphis Tigers"
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Tiger fan, my mom is a Tiger fan, I guess that makes me a Tiger fan."
The teacher, angered by his reply, says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Tennessee fan."
#2 - It's for a #1 Ranking
Cal says this game is about ego, but let's not forget that the winner comes out with a #1 spot on the national polls next week. (A #1 spot that Memphis has held for five weeks, I might add.) (That UT has NEVER held in men's basketball.) This game would be big no matter who the two teams were.
Q: Why do Vols fans have to wait until Sunday morning to drive back to Knoxville?
A: They don't have headlights on their tractors.
#3 - In-State 1 vs 2
An in-state #1 vs. #2 hardly EVER happens. Here's the very short history of such a match up:
No. 2 North Carolina 97, No. 1 Duke 73, Chapel Hill, N.C., 1998
No. 2 North Carolina 89, No. 1 Duke 78, Chapel Hill, N.C., 1994
No. 2 Cincinnati 71, No. 1 Ohio State 59, Louisville, Ky., 1962 (NCAA Championship)
No. 2 Cincinnati 70, No. 1 Ohio State 65 (OT), Kansas City, Mo., 1961 (NCAA Championship)
A Memphis fan walks into a Knoxville bar and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?"
"No" replied the man, "I'm from Memphis."
The bartender looks at him and says "Well what do you do in Memphis?"
"I'm a taxidermist," said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"
The man looked at the bartender and said, "Well, I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"
#4 - Un De Fee Ted
Memphis is the only undefeated team in NCAA. Most people agree that if we get past UT, Memphis will enter the NCAA tournament undefeated, which hasn't been done since UNLV in 1991. Memphis really wants to protect that killer 26-and-oh record. Which leads to...
#5 - Oh Ver Ray Ted
Sports fans everywhere think Memphis doesn't deserve the #1 spot, even with the only undefeated record in the NCAA. We're the Rodney Dangerfield of basketball. When it looked like we were going to lose to UAB last week, ESPN put up a big "Undefeated No More!" headline on their web site before the game was even over. They'd never do that to Carolina. We play the hardest non-conference schedule in all the league, but still people say "Put them in the ACC and see if they're still undefeated wah wah wah."
Q: What's the best way to get a UT fan off your doorstep?
A: Pay for the pizza.
#6 - Winning Streaks
We have a 45-game regular season winning streak, the longest since Indiana's 57 in a row from the 1974-75 season into the 1976-77 season. We also have the longest home winning streak in the country. I think we're up to 47?
Q: Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
A: They watch football on Saturdays, go deer hunting on Sundays, and pick up trash on the highway the rest of the week.
#7 - Only Game in Town
We don't have an NFL team, and the NBA Grizzlies suck ass, so the Tigers is all we got. It's pretty much always been that way here.
Two soldiers in a far off land were captured by the enemy. Since the terrorists wanted to show that they weren't as barbaric as everyone thought, they decided to offer each man a last request before his execution.
They asked the first man (a UT grad): "Do you have a last request?"
He replied: "Yes, I'd like to hear 'Rocky Top' just one last time."
His captor responded with: "I think we could arrange that."
The second man (a Memphis grad) is asked the same question: "Do you have a last request?"
The Memphis grad replies: "Yeah, shoot me first."
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The New Gig
Whew. So THAT may go down as the most unfair post ever in the history of my blog. Sorry about that...getting you all riled up without any details and stuff. Sure did get a burst of comments though. So also the most manipulative post ever.
Where to start? I was asked to lunch by a nice lady named Leanne today. Leanne is a very, very busy woman. She has at least six jobs, including: 1) a weekly column in our daily paper; 2) a blog called "iDiva"on the paper's web site; 3) editor of skirt! Memphis; 4) mom; 5) wife; 6) friend and probably daughter, too, although, while we talked A LOT at lunch, we didn't delve too far into our family trees.
What kindred spirits we are. We talked all over each other for an hour and a half. She's a really amazing woman who has worked in publishing in NY, as a freelance writer in Chicago, a columnist in Memphis and now a magazine editor too. She's really inspiring because she's just made so many things happen for herself and taken chances and gotten dirty. Which I never do. But plan to. Someday.
So obviously the woman has an awful lot on her plate. Which is a terrible expression, really, because at lunch, all she had was a salad. I, on the other hand, ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and didn't even eat the crusts, so I'm pretty sure she thought she was having lunch with a 4-year-old. At any rate, she's looking for someone to help keep up the blog.
She said that she's been covertly reading several local bloggers for months but I think the real reason she asked me is because a mutal friend (also in the news business here) recommended me. She was extremely complimentary of my talents (she called me edgy!!!1!!) which was so flattering and also? So nice to hear. Which is maybe what "flattering" means. Or not. I should probably look that up before trying my hand at BLOGGING FOR MONEY AND REALS.
So I'm going to be posting there three or four times a week which holy shit what the hell am I ever going to find to write about??? I hope that you'll follow me over there to read occasionally. I'll try not to repeat myself and also, of course, to not abandon you and leave this blog to wither up and dry just like every potted plant I've ever owned.
I'm not quitting my job or anything. It's not a pay-your-mortgage kind of gig. It's more like a if-you-were-to-lose-your-job-you'd-be-living-on-the-streets-but-at-least-you-could-keep-your-mercedes-convertible gig. Which ROCKS.
Where to start? I was asked to lunch by a nice lady named Leanne today. Leanne is a very, very busy woman. She has at least six jobs, including: 1) a weekly column in our daily paper; 2) a blog called "iDiva"on the paper's web site; 3) editor of skirt! Memphis; 4) mom; 5) wife; 6) friend and probably daughter, too, although, while we talked A LOT at lunch, we didn't delve too far into our family trees.
What kindred spirits we are. We talked all over each other for an hour and a half. She's a really amazing woman who has worked in publishing in NY, as a freelance writer in Chicago, a columnist in Memphis and now a magazine editor too. She's really inspiring because she's just made so many things happen for herself and taken chances and gotten dirty. Which I never do. But plan to. Someday.
So obviously the woman has an awful lot on her plate. Which is a terrible expression, really, because at lunch, all she had was a salad. I, on the other hand, ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and didn't even eat the crusts, so I'm pretty sure she thought she was having lunch with a 4-year-old. At any rate, she's looking for someone to help keep up the blog.
She said that she's been covertly reading several local bloggers for months but I think the real reason she asked me is because a mutal friend (also in the news business here) recommended me. She was extremely complimentary of my talents (she called me edgy!!!1!!) which was so flattering and also? So nice to hear. Which is maybe what "flattering" means. Or not. I should probably look that up before trying my hand at BLOGGING FOR MONEY AND REALS.
So I'm going to be posting there three or four times a week which holy shit what the hell am I ever going to find to write about??? I hope that you'll follow me over there to read occasionally. I'll try not to repeat myself and also, of course, to not abandon you and leave this blog to wither up and dry just like every potted plant I've ever owned.
I'm not quitting my job or anything. It's not a pay-your-mortgage kind of gig. It's more like a if-you-were-to-lose-your-job-you'd-be-living-on-the-streets-but-at-least-you-could-keep-your-mercedes-convertible gig. Which ROCKS.
If I had a headline for this, it would have to be a 4-inch SECOND COMING OF CHRIST headline
OMG YA'LL. I HAVE THE GREATEST MOST EXCITING NEWS TO TELL YOU. LATER. TO TELL YOU LATER. I WILL TELL YOU LATER WHEN I CAN STOP TO THINK ABOUT IT AND ALL THAT IT REPRESENTS AND PUT IT INTO WORDS TO SHARE IT WITH YOU. AND STOP FREAKING THE FUCK OUT ABOUT IT. OH HELL...I'M GOING TO BE A PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's all Relative
Yesterday I was talking to a girl who is here on business for a couple of days from Montreal. She asked me if there were any places to shop around town or near her hotel. I was all, "If you're going to be traveling around the states for a while, this is not the city you want to shop in. Seriously, mon chere."
And she said, "Do ewe 'ave Ahn Taylor or Bahnahnah Crepubleec?"
And I said, "Well...yeah...we have those."
And she said, "Because wee onlee 'ave one and so a pair euf pahnts that cost ewe $90 costs us $140."
And I was all, "I am such a self-centered bitch. Excuse me one moment while I go over here and count my blessings."
And she said, "Do ewe 'ave Ahn Taylor or Bahnahnah Crepubleec?"
And I said, "Well...yeah...we have those."
And she said, "Because wee onlee 'ave one and so a pair euf pahnts that cost ewe $90 costs us $140."
And I was all, "I am such a self-centered bitch. Excuse me one moment while I go over here and count my blessings."
Monday, February 18, 2008
Scattered
I was finally able to resume running this morning. It felt really good, actually. Although I was surprised by a couple things: #1) It's already starting to get brighter earlier. And #2) Holy crap my leg muscles have gotten weak in three weeks.
So...what else? Oh! I can't even BEGIN to tell you how excited my state is about this, so I won't even try. Moving on...
Do you ever wonder how Herc and Street get their wheelchairs into the back of their pick-up trucks? I know it's only TV, but I just can't get past it...
In the NO DUH category comes the news that I live in the 7th most stressful city in the nation. The least stressful metro? Carmen's city. Although the people who made the list obviously didn't visit her house...
Final note to self: if you make a batch of brownies on the night before a school holiday, a swarm of teenagers will decend upon your house and leave you nary a one. That was totally going to be my dinner, too.
So...what else? Oh! I can't even BEGIN to tell you how excited my state is about this, so I won't even try. Moving on...
Do you ever wonder how Herc and Street get their wheelchairs into the back of their pick-up trucks? I know it's only TV, but I just can't get past it...
In the NO DUH category comes the news that I live in the 7th most stressful city in the nation. The least stressful metro? Carmen's city. Although the people who made the list obviously didn't visit her house...
Final note to self: if you make a batch of brownies on the night before a school holiday, a swarm of teenagers will decend upon your house and leave you nary a one. That was totally going to be my dinner, too.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Birmingham is the New Louisville
I guess since Louisville and Cincinnati bailed on our conference it was just a matter of time before we found a new rival.
Right now, in Birmingham, the 24-0 Tigers are down by 4 against UAB with 1:22 left in the game. Our last regular season loss was Dec. 6, 2006, and we haven't lost in our conference since March 2, 2006. To? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
The UAB Blazers. Who have been kicking our ass up and down the court all night.
8 seconds...down by two...CDR makes the basket...AND THE FOUL! The man with three names has 31 points. He hits the free throw...Memphis up by 1 with 6.5 seconds left to play...
Of course, all week the Memphis press has been all "Can they do it again?" "Will UAB become the Tigers' nemesis?" If we lose this game, I am so holding the media personally responsible. They may be #1 in the nation, but these guys really are just kids. Can we please not fuck with their heads? Please?
Last second shot by UAB. They hit it! The crowd goes wild! Refs say NO. Too late! It does not count! Memphis remains undefeated! A scuffle is breaking out as the Tigers are escorted by security from the floor.
OK. Nevermind. Ignore this post. We don't have to hate Birmingham afterall. As you were then.
UPDATE, 10:28 p.m.:
Apparently, the "scuffle" was because a UAB fan threw a whiskey bottle at our players. It hit Shawn Taggart in the face and broke his nose. To which I can't help but wonder: HOW THE HELL DID THE GUY GET A WHISKEY BOTTLE INTO AN NCAA BASKETBALL GAME? Also? Back to hating Birmingham again.
Right now, in Birmingham, the 24-0 Tigers are down by 4 against UAB with 1:22 left in the game. Our last regular season loss was Dec. 6, 2006, and we haven't lost in our conference since March 2, 2006. To? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
The UAB Blazers. Who have been kicking our ass up and down the court all night.
8 seconds...down by two...CDR makes the basket...AND THE FOUL! The man with three names has 31 points. He hits the free throw...Memphis up by 1 with 6.5 seconds left to play...
Of course, all week the Memphis press has been all "Can they do it again?" "Will UAB become the Tigers' nemesis?" If we lose this game, I am so holding the media personally responsible. They may be #1 in the nation, but these guys really are just kids. Can we please not fuck with their heads? Please?
Last second shot by UAB. They hit it! The crowd goes wild! Refs say NO. Too late! It does not count! Memphis remains undefeated! A scuffle is breaking out as the Tigers are escorted by security from the floor.
OK. Nevermind. Ignore this post. We don't have to hate Birmingham afterall. As you were then.
UPDATE, 10:28 p.m.:
Apparently, the "scuffle" was because a UAB fan threw a whiskey bottle at our players. It hit Shawn Taggart in the face and broke his nose. To which I can't help but wonder: HOW THE HELL DID THE GUY GET A WHISKEY BOTTLE INTO AN NCAA BASKETBALL GAME? Also? Back to hating Birmingham again.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Another of Carlin's Seven Words struck from the list
Jane Fonda said "Cunt" on the Today show this morning.
Watch it here.
It's not as shocking as it sounds, really. It's not like she called Meredith a cunt. (HA! Now THAT would have been worth tuning in for!) The interview was about "The Vagina Monologues" and Jane was referring to one of the monologues, the title of which is "Cunt."
I'm not a fan of the word myself - not because it's a "dirty" word, because you know I'm actually quite a prolific curser. I just don't like words that are meant to be derrogatory based on a person's sex or race. This word is meant to demean and belittle, in the most vicious way possible, like the n- and f-words (not the 4-letter one; the one that got Isaiah Washington fired). But I'm pretty sure that's the point of the play. So if you're going to do an interview about vaginas, you really can't be too upset about the use of the c-word, can you?
Watch it here.
It's not as shocking as it sounds, really. It's not like she called Meredith a cunt. (HA! Now THAT would have been worth tuning in for!) The interview was about "The Vagina Monologues" and Jane was referring to one of the monologues, the title of which is "Cunt."
I'm not a fan of the word myself - not because it's a "dirty" word, because you know I'm actually quite a prolific curser. I just don't like words that are meant to be derrogatory based on a person's sex or race. This word is meant to demean and belittle, in the most vicious way possible, like the n- and f-words (not the 4-letter one; the one that got Isaiah Washington fired). But I'm pretty sure that's the point of the play. So if you're going to do an interview about vaginas, you really can't be too upset about the use of the c-word, can you?
Monday, February 11, 2008
Keeping The Lights On
Well it looks like the writers' strike is nearing an end and shows are soon to be back on the air, but no one at NBC is talking about "Friday Night Lights." They aired their last new episode last week. Will that be it? We just don't know.
But a whole lot of people aren't waiting around to find out. A "Save FNL" campaign has been launched on My Space as well as at SaveFridayNightLights.tv. Organizers are sending mini-footballs to NBC, as well as asking supporters to sign an online petition and print & send postcards to the network.
Best Week Ever has their own online campaign here with another online petition. They're suggesting viewers send light bulbs to NBC. I think there may be some other groups sending bottles of CLEAR EYES.
I think it's a damn shame the crap that stays on for TV for season after season, while the one decent thing on television gets screwed over by their own network. Because seriously? If they would put ER out of its misery and give up that time slot to FNL, I believe the show would take off like wildfire. Unfortunately, NBC's too busy trying to find the next American Idol or Dances with Old Washed-Up Has Beens to know a good things when it's staring them down.
So please go sign these petitions. The fans were able to save Jericho, which CBS was ready to cancel b/c they thought nobody was watching. Which just goes to show you that ratings mean absolutely fucking nothing.
Even if you don't watch this show, do it for me. And when the time comes, I'll help you save whatever show you're cracked out on. Promise.
But a whole lot of people aren't waiting around to find out. A "Save FNL" campaign has been launched on My Space as well as at SaveFridayNightLights.tv. Organizers are sending mini-footballs to NBC, as well as asking supporters to sign an online petition and print & send postcards to the network.
Best Week Ever has their own online campaign here with another online petition. They're suggesting viewers send light bulbs to NBC. I think there may be some other groups sending bottles of CLEAR EYES.
I think it's a damn shame the crap that stays on for TV for season after season, while the one decent thing on television gets screwed over by their own network. Because seriously? If they would put ER out of its misery and give up that time slot to FNL, I believe the show would take off like wildfire. Unfortunately, NBC's too busy trying to find the next American Idol or Dances with Old Washed-Up Has Beens to know a good things when it's staring them down.
So please go sign these petitions. The fans were able to save Jericho, which CBS was ready to cancel b/c they thought nobody was watching. Which just goes to show you that ratings mean absolutely fucking nothing.
Even if you don't watch this show, do it for me. And when the time comes, I'll help you save whatever show you're cracked out on. Promise.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
I have figured out the popularity of this Hannah Montana thing
And it is the same as Paris Hilton.
I accidentally watched "Hannah Montana" this morning. I was laying in bed, having just woken up, and flipped on the TV. It was on ABC Kids and I just started watching it. And now I understand why the character is experiencing such phenomenal popularity.
The show had everything that young Hollywood celebrity has - papparazzi, trendy fashion, luxury swag...even a boyfriend named Stavros!! SERIOUSLY. The producers have taken the obsessive preoccupation with young hollywood celebutantes and packaged it into a Disney show, thus making the entire lifestyle even more appealing for even younger girls.
Way to go, Disney.
What's even worse is the whole double-life storyline. They sell it as "at home, SHE'S A TOTALLY NORMAL GIRL!" But really, aren't they just telling young girls that if they want to be happy and popular then they need to be just like Paris Hilton?? Nice. Really nice message.
Everyone's saying how, love her or hate her, Miley Cyrus is the only good role model left for young girls these days.
I beg to differ.
I accidentally watched "Hannah Montana" this morning. I was laying in bed, having just woken up, and flipped on the TV. It was on ABC Kids and I just started watching it. And now I understand why the character is experiencing such phenomenal popularity.
The show had everything that young Hollywood celebrity has - papparazzi, trendy fashion, luxury swag...even a boyfriend named Stavros!! SERIOUSLY. The producers have taken the obsessive preoccupation with young hollywood celebutantes and packaged it into a Disney show, thus making the entire lifestyle even more appealing for even younger girls.
Way to go, Disney.
What's even worse is the whole double-life storyline. They sell it as "at home, SHE'S A TOTALLY NORMAL GIRL!" But really, aren't they just telling young girls that if they want to be happy and popular then they need to be just like Paris Hilton?? Nice. Really nice message.
Everyone's saying how, love her or hate her, Miley Cyrus is the only good role model left for young girls these days.
I beg to differ.
Friday, February 8, 2008
When 5 p.m. Friday can't come soon enough
- Blow-ups at work
- Tornadoes
- Speeding Ticket
This was not my finest week. I'm really ready to close the book on this one.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Maybe I pissed off Mother Nature with that letter
We saw the tornado ya'll. It passed just miles from our house. It was HUGE. It supposedly touched down over by My Kid's school. We're only just starting to get reports of damage, but he's not going to do his homework, just in case the roof was blown off his school and he doesn't have to go tomorrow.
They actually let school out several hours early this afternoon in anticipation of this. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten - I drove home from work (20 miles downtown) with the tornado sirens going off but shit, they go off all the time. I didn't think I was in any imminent danger. But just as I got home, it got pretty scary pretty fast. I wasn't home 10 minutes when they were reporting that a tornado had touched down in Germantown just a few miles from our house. Big Daddy made us sit in the downstairs bathroom with a futon matress over our heads. (We don't have basements here.)
We were tracking the tornado on the local news station and when it was past us we burrowed out of the bathroom and went outside and YOU COULD TOTALLY SEE THE TORNADO IN THE SKY BEHIND OUR NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we're all okay here.
UPDATE: 8:34 p.m.
CNN just said the tornado that hit the Hickory Ridge Mall was at least an F3, maybe an F4. Also? There's still another line of storms to come. Gads.
They actually let school out several hours early this afternoon in anticipation of this. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten - I drove home from work (20 miles downtown) with the tornado sirens going off but shit, they go off all the time. I didn't think I was in any imminent danger. But just as I got home, it got pretty scary pretty fast. I wasn't home 10 minutes when they were reporting that a tornado had touched down in Germantown just a few miles from our house. Big Daddy made us sit in the downstairs bathroom with a futon matress over our heads. (We don't have basements here.)
We were tracking the tornado on the local news station and when it was past us we burrowed out of the bathroom and went outside and YOU COULD TOTALLY SEE THE TORNADO IN THE SKY BEHIND OUR NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we're all okay here.
UPDATE: 8:34 p.m.
CNN just said the tornado that hit the Hickory Ridge Mall was at least an F3, maybe an F4. Also? There's still another line of storms to come. Gads.
An Open Letter to Mother Nature
Mommy Dearest,
What is the deal with throwing us a 76-degree day in the middle of winter? Are we supposed to appreciate this as some kind of bonus? Because frankly I'm not feeling the least bit grateful.
See, we don't know how to dress for a 76-degree day in the middle of winter. It's too warm for tights, and yet the winter skin on our legs is white and dry and not prepared to see the sun for at least another month and a half. Pants aren't really an option because they're all too dark and heavy for such warm weather.
So this may all seem like a great joke to you - or perhaps it's payback to Al Gore for all the campaigning he's been doing on your behalf lately - but to those of us here on earth, that shit's not funny. Pick a season and stick with it for a couple months, would ya?
Sincerely,
kalisa
What is the deal with throwing us a 76-degree day in the middle of winter? Are we supposed to appreciate this as some kind of bonus? Because frankly I'm not feeling the least bit grateful.
See, we don't know how to dress for a 76-degree day in the middle of winter. It's too warm for tights, and yet the winter skin on our legs is white and dry and not prepared to see the sun for at least another month and a half. Pants aren't really an option because they're all too dark and heavy for such warm weather.
So this may all seem like a great joke to you - or perhaps it's payback to Al Gore for all the campaigning he's been doing on your behalf lately - but to those of us here on earth, that shit's not funny. Pick a season and stick with it for a couple months, would ya?
Sincerely,
kalisa
Monday, February 4, 2008
Ten Reasons Why I was Rooting for the Giants
- Bill Belichick is a cheater.
- If, like Nixon, he only did what everyone does and simply got caught, then he's a cheater AND stupid.
- I always root for underdogs and little brothers.
- Where I grew up, the Mannings are practically hometown boys.
- My school beat the Rebels when Eli was at Ole Miss, thereby making us Super Bowl champs-by-proxy.
- I am SO OVER this 19-and-0 bullshit.
- I don't want the '72 Dolphins record to be broken until all those original players have shed this mortal coil. I'm sentimental that way.
- Tom Brady's gotten too big for his shiny, skin-tight britches.
- I only personally know one person from Boston and I'm pretty sure he was at the game (or at least he'd be TELLING everyone that he was). He's a real cocksucker so I'm hoping he's suicidally disappointed this morning.
- They totally earned it, based solely on that 33-yard catch by David Tyree in the Giants' final scoring drive.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Clear eyes, Full hearts
Are ya'll even watching this show "Friday Night Lights?" I have heard a lot of people call it "the best show on TV" but I'd never really watched it. (I didn't even realize that it's in its third season already.) For one thing, I never could figure out when it was on exactly. Call me crazy, but I kept expecting to find it on on, you know, Friday night.
This season, NBC actually moved it to Friday night, which Big Daddy thought was stupid. He's been watching it all along, and I guess in the world of television ratings, Friday night is the kiss of death. But I've finally been able to latch onto it in this time spot. Fridays at 8 p.m. are the one time I can almost guarantee to be home. I usually watch it live, then I tell everything to Daddy before he watches it on DVR.
The storylines are extremely character-focused, so I decided to watch the first two seasons to catch up. You can watch all the full episodes on the NBC web site, and I highly recommend that you go there now, because anything I have to say about the show will be a dim comparison to the actual show. So really - go watch it.
I had read the book and seen the original movie, both of which I liked even though I always had a hard time getting past that one guy's name being Boobie. The series was brought to TV by Peter Berg who I ADORED on "Chicago Hope" as Kronk, the original antisocial, ill-tempered doctor. Kyle Chandler is absolutely loveable in the lead as Coach Taylor. (OMG, remember when he was on that show where he got the paper a day early so he knew what was going to happen before it happened, and then was obligated to change it? Oh Kyle, we all have our dues to pay.)
The whole shaky-camera thing has gotten a lot of debate lately (what with that "Cloverfield" film literally making moviegoers motion sick) but it works for FNL because the whole style of the show is so realistic. I grew up in a small southern town and I'm here to tell you that the characters on this show are about as true-to-life is you can get. You never feel like they're acting, or even like they're following a script. You feel like you've just dropped in on a family, a team, a school, a town. And eavesdropping on them this way, you can't help but become invested in their lives.
This season, NBC actually moved it to Friday night, which Big Daddy thought was stupid. He's been watching it all along, and I guess in the world of television ratings, Friday night is the kiss of death. But I've finally been able to latch onto it in this time spot. Fridays at 8 p.m. are the one time I can almost guarantee to be home. I usually watch it live, then I tell everything to Daddy before he watches it on DVR.
The storylines are extremely character-focused, so I decided to watch the first two seasons to catch up. You can watch all the full episodes on the NBC web site, and I highly recommend that you go there now, because anything I have to say about the show will be a dim comparison to the actual show. So really - go watch it.
I had read the book and seen the original movie, both of which I liked even though I always had a hard time getting past that one guy's name being Boobie. The series was brought to TV by Peter Berg who I ADORED on "Chicago Hope" as Kronk, the original antisocial, ill-tempered doctor. Kyle Chandler is absolutely loveable in the lead as Coach Taylor. (OMG, remember when he was on that show where he got the paper a day early so he knew what was going to happen before it happened, and then was obligated to change it? Oh Kyle, we all have our dues to pay.)
The whole shaky-camera thing has gotten a lot of debate lately (what with that "Cloverfield" film literally making moviegoers motion sick) but it works for FNL because the whole style of the show is so realistic. I grew up in a small southern town and I'm here to tell you that the characters on this show are about as true-to-life is you can get. You never feel like they're acting, or even like they're following a script. You feel like you've just dropped in on a family, a team, a school, a town. And eavesdropping on them this way, you can't help but become invested in their lives.
So if you're thinking about watching this show, just ask yourself:
WHAT WOULD RIGGINS DO?
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Every season needs a good bench-clearing brawl
Basketball has been some fun this year. Our team started out kinda sucky. We lost the first two games. But then we started to gel. And to win.
One week I walked into the gym, and the team we were playing was in a huddle around the door. The coach was saying to his players, "This team has two tall players..." and one of the kids interrupted him to add, "And one of 'em's REALLY tall!" Yeah, My Kid's the "REALLY tall" one on the team. He's playing really well, and has had a few double-doubles.
Over the holiday break, one of the other coaches asked him to play on his holiday tournament team. They won the silver bracket, which means they came in third.
Back from the holidays, we were 2 and 2, and we played the team in first place. The team above, actually. Which was kind of weird because My Kid had just spent the holidays playing FOR this team, and now we had to play AGAINST them. But at least we knew all his offenses heh heh. We won.
Now 3 and 2, we played the new team in first place, the Mavericks. Beating them, we were tied with both the Bulls and the Mavs - all three of us were 4 and 2, but! Since we had beat them both head-to-head, that put us in FIRST PLACE as of last week. Woot!
This week we were a little concerned because two of our players - including our leading scorer - were sick. Big Daddy said to me last night, "We're gonna get our asses handed to us tomorrow - by the worst team in the league."
All our players showed up for the game, although I'm not sure they were all 100 percent. The score was a lot closer all game than it should have been. In the final quarter, we had pulled up by 5. There was 15 seconds left and one of the other players (Hunter) fouled one of our players (Skylar).
The ref blew the whistle. Skylar turned around and bumped Hunter with his shoulder and said something like "What the hell's your problem?" So Hunter tackled him. At which point Sklar's identical twin jumped in (of course he did) as did another of our players, Justin. Both our coaches (Big Daddy & the twins' dad), plus the other coach (who is Hunter's dad) AND Justin's dad were all in the midst of it immediately. Hunter was pulled back over to his bench, at which point one of our parents who was sitting behind that bench jumps up and starts yelling at Hunter.
It was CRAZY.
My Kid? He was down at the other end of the court, in case the other team got a fast break.
(We won.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
