I'm gonna try to explain this to you in terms you can understand

#1 - We. Hate. UT Vols.
I don't even know how to tell you how much. We always want to beat UT, no matter what the circumstances. There are a number of reasons for this fiery loathing:
a) UT has had national championship teams before. Not in basketball, but in football. Memphis, on the other hand, has not.
b) Orange is a really ugly color.
c) They think they're so fucking superior to us just because they live in the Smokey Mountains and we live in the concrete jungle. A girl I know who went to UT said to me: "You think it's a rivalry. We don't think it's a rivalry." Like we're not even good enough to be their rivals.
d) Also, that "Rocky Top" song is really fucking annoying.
e) There's the whole bandwagon issue for me. So what they're from your state? They're like 400 miles away. How is that any sort of hometown team?
f) It pretty much sucks to live down here in the middle of the SEC. Did I mention the whole superiority thing?

One day in an elementary school in Knoxville, a teacher asks her class if the Tennessee Volunteers are their favorite basketball team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite basketball team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Memphis Tigers"
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Tiger fan, my mom is a Tiger fan, I guess that makes me a Tiger fan."
The teacher, angered by his reply, says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Tennessee fan."

#2 - It's for a #1 Ranking
Cal says this game is about ego, but let's not forget that the winner comes out with a #1 spot on the national polls next week. (A #1 spot that Memphis has held for five weeks, I might add.) (That UT has NEVER held in men's basketball.) This game would be big no matter who the two teams were.

Q: Why do Vols fans have to wait until Sunday morning to drive back to Knoxville?
A: They don't have headlights on their tractors.

#3 - In-State 1 vs 2
An in-state #1 vs. #2 hardly EVER happens. Here's the very short history of such a match up:
No. 2 North Carolina 97, No. 1 Duke 73, Chapel Hill, N.C., 1998
No. 2 North Carolina 89, No. 1 Duke 78, Chapel Hill, N.C., 1994
No. 2 Cincinnati 71, No. 1 Ohio State 59, Louisville, Ky., 1962 (NCAA Championship)
No. 2 Cincinnati 70, No. 1 Ohio State 65 (OT), Kansas City, Mo., 1961 (NCAA Championship)

A Memphis fan walks into a Knoxville bar and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?"
"No" replied the man, "I'm from Memphis."
The bartender looks at him and says "Well what do you do in Memphis?"
"I'm a taxidermist," said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"
The man looked at the bartender and said, "Well, I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"

#4 - Un De Fee Ted
Memphis is the only undefeated team in NCAA. Most people agree that if we get past UT, Memphis will enter the NCAA tournament undefeated, which hasn't been done since UNLV in 1991. Memphis really wants to protect that killer 26-and-oh record. Which leads to...

#5 - Oh Ver Ray Ted
Sports fans everywhere think Memphis doesn't deserve the #1 spot, even with the only undefeated record in the NCAA. We're the Rodney Dangerfield of basketball. When it looked like we were going to lose to UAB last week, ESPN put up a big "Undefeated No More!" headline on their web site before the game was even over. They'd never do that to Carolina. We play the hardest non-conference schedule in all the league, but still people say "Put them in the ACC and see if they're still undefeated wah wah wah."

Q: What's the best way to get a UT fan off your doorstep?
A: Pay for the pizza.

#6 - Winning Streaks
We have a 45-game regular season winning streak, the longest since Indiana's 57 in a row from the 1974-75 season into the 1976-77 season. We also have the longest home winning streak in the country. I think we're up to 47?

Q: Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
A: They watch football on Saturdays, go deer hunting on Sundays, and pick up trash on the highway the rest of the week.

#7 - Only Game in Town
We don't have an NFL team, and the NBA Grizzlies suck ass, so the Tigers is all we got. It's pretty much always been that way here.

Two soldiers in a far off land were captured by the enemy. Since the terrorists wanted to show that they weren't as barbaric as everyone thought, they decided to offer each man a last request before his execution.
They asked the first man (a UT grad): "Do you have a last request?"
He replied: "Yes, I'd like to hear 'Rocky Top' just one last time."
His captor responded with: "I think we could arrange that."
The second man (a Memphis grad) is asked the same question: "Do you have a last request?"
The Memphis grad replies: "Yeah, shoot me first."