Because there is another big event this weekend

Every couple of years, I look at the list of Oscar nominees and there will be a name included among the Hollywood heavy hitters that totally knocks me for a loop. I'm not talking about the ones who develop gradually over a few years from The Fresh Prince into well-respected actors. It's one thing to look at Leo and laugh "Ha ha! Remember when he was on Growing Pains??" but it's not like we didn't NOTICE that he was becoming an esteemed thespian.

No, I'm talking about the ones that really take you aback. You're reading down the list of names and suddenly you go, "Whoa! Wha...who?? WTF?? Wasn't he just fighting socs with Pony Boy???" Let's face it: there are names you expect to see on the list, and there are names that you just KNOW will never be included. Like people who got their start on Saturday Night Live. Or Welcome Back, Kotter.

So, in honor of tonight's Oscars, here is my list of names I certainly never expected to see included. And yet there they were:

Goldie Hawn, Best Actress, 1980 (Private Benjamin)
That goofy girl from Laugh In?? Seriously??

Pat Morita, Best Supporting Actor, 1984 (The Karate Kid)
Richie Cunningham as a successful director I can buy. But Arnold? As an Oscar nominee? Not so much.

Dan Akroyd, Best Supporting Actor, 1989 (Driving Miss Daisy)
Select one: Blues Brother. Conehead. "Jane...you ignorant slut." Academy Award nominee.

John Travolta, Best Actor, 1994 (Pulp Fiction)
Vinnie Barbarino may have had the comeback of the century.

Woody Harrelson, Best Actor, 1996 (The People vs. Larry Flynt)
It's 1987, and you're sitting around with some friends watching "Cheers." Quick - pick the character who will one day be nominated for an Oscar.
*cricket*cricket*

Queen Latifah, Best Supporting Actress, 2002 (Chicago)
Her transformation from rap star to respected actor was a little more sudden than Will Smith's.

Bill Murray, Best Actor, 2003 (Lost in Translation)
The guy from "Stripes" gets the runner-up award for Biggest Comeback.

Matt Dillon, Best Supporting Actor, 2005 (Crash)
See above, re: fighting socs with Pony Boy.

Three 6 Mafia, Best Original Song, 2005 (Hustle & Flow)
As host Jon Stewart noted, these guys had an Oscar BEFORE MARTIN SCORSESE did. Go figure.

Now...on with the show.