HAP! Peenewyear!

If you're a boring old fart like me, staying home tonight, watching Anderson Cooper from Times Square, reading blogs, then maybe you can entertain yourself by reviewing some of my favorite posts of the year.

I started out the year over on the other blog, and with bangs.
I made the mistake of trying to shop with a teenage boy.
A pictorial essay of the history of my hair as a child. (and a teen. And an adult! YIKES!)
I analyzed Britney's chaotic behavior.
We faced the High School dilemma (quite successfully, I might add)
Then I got all philosophical and shit and changed my blog.
This Mother's Day post still holds true today.
The beach vacay in July
Remember when I was determined to straighten my hair?
That didn't last long.
Then there was My Kid's not-a-surprise birthday party (More photos here)
Hmmm. In all of the year-end reviews I haven't seen anything about Ken Burn's The War.
Big Daddy diagnosed himself with life-threatening diseases on the internet.
Guilty pleasure Gossip Girl hit the air
Oh, man! The PROTEST! Definitely a high-point in 007.
I enjoyed the holidays in my own way.

I have a confession to make: I just spent three hours reading all of my posts from this year. I don't recommend it because you suddenly start to realize that OMG THIS BLOG IS SO FUCKING BORING CAN YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT CLOTHES FOR 5 MINUTES SHEESH.

Because you can't buy running shoes based on color

Today I went to Fleet Foot sports to buy a pair of walking/ running shoes. Someone told me that they do extensive fitting to find just the perfect shoe for your foot and your walking/ running style.

First, the guy (who was extremely helpful, BTW) measured my feet. He said both feet measured a size 6 (I could've told him that), so he would put me in a size 7 shoe. He said you need to go up a whole size for a running shoe. I had no idea. My feet looked HUGE in them.

Then he took me outside and made me run up and down the sidewalk while he squatted down and watched my feet. His diagnosis was that I overpronated? Or something? Meaning that my feet tend to roll inward when I run. Which I also could have told him because, dude, I get pedicures. I know where my feet are taking the brunt of my stress.

So then he had me try on several pairs of shoes (size 7s! HUGE!) with additional support on the arch side and run up and down the sidewalk in each one. I selected the asics and I gotta tell you , they're pretty fucking amazing.

You know when you go to yoga class and you're standing with feet shoulder-width apart, shoulders back and down, etc etc and the instructor tells you to lift your toes to make sure you're standing evenly and flatly on your feet? I love that feeling; I feel so...aligned. Sometimes I do that when I'm putting on my make up in the mornings. Anyway, THAT'S HOW MY FEET FEEL IN THESE SHOES.

I was also fitted for a sports bra but they didn't have my size so they're going to order me one. Then I went to Target and bought some exercise clothes - a jacket and pants. I didn't think about it, but I probably should've bought some gloves and one of those headband things to keep my ears warm since I'm going to be exercising at 5:30 a.m.

Now here comes the audience participation portion of the program. I need to put together a workout playlist on my iPod. I am seeking song recommendations as I will need at least 30 minutes of music and I'd prefer not to listen to the same songs every time I go out. I know some of you walk or run or workout to music, so please leave me your list of songs in the comments. The more, the better. Title and singer would be great as that will assist me in finding it on LimeWire.

Thank you, and let me know if there's anything I can do to assist you in your own new years goals.

Finding Resolve

I've not usually been a believer in New Years Resolutions, mainly because they're destined to fail for the simple reason that there's no game plan. I have, however, always felt that the New Year is a nice opportunity to make some changes in life. So I was rather impressed with a Blogher News email I got where someone named Lisa talked about The Matrix:

Every December since 2001, I've taken time to sit down with a ruler, a pencil and a sheet of paper, to create what one of my sisters and I call The Matrix. Across the top of the page I write the months of the year. Down the left-hand side I draw up the bucketfuls of life I want to live in the coming year. These buckets may change in order, but they're nearly always the same:
Heart - What I want to accomplish for myself, my beau and our boys
Family - Key things I want to do with extended family and friends
Spirit - How am I going to give back in the coming year, financially and personally?
Wallet - What are the items I am forced to worry about this year? Sigh.
Health - How am I going to take care of my bod so that I can do all these other things?
Create - What am I going to sew, make, paint this year?
Work - See office. Believe me, BlogHer Inc. has its own extended list.
...and this year I'm adding a new category:
Write. Because I learned the hard way in 2007 that if I try to lump writing in with creating or working, it comes last. And that just won't do.

Now, see, this is a plan I can work from. It allows me to map out changes I want to make or goals for the year, without working under the assumption that I'll simply make a major overhaul come January 1. Or that that's even possible.

Now, I'm not pulling out a pencil and ruler but I am a pretty big fan of excel spreadsheets, so you know I've been working on mine all evening.

I've made a few adjustments to what Lisa set out, but here's my highlights in a shortened version:

• Heart - For myself, I've mapped out regular hair appts. and spa body treatments at the start of the summer (exfoliating) and winter (hydrating) seasons. For my family, I plan to execute some holiday celebrations throughout the year (I'm so lazy about that) and have a family portrait made, which we haven't done in....ever.
• Family & Friends - I've planned out lunch dates w/ a different friend each month as well as recognition of family birthdays and anniversaries. I also plan to send Christmas cards, which I haven't done since, like 1995. (These may seem like no-brainers but I'm really bad about keeping in touch w/ people that I love.)
• Spirit - I'm planning on adding one new practice every three months, such as prayer & meditation and volunteer work.
• Wallet - Since Big Daddy keeps the family budget, I'm making it a goal this year to learn more about our finances.
• Health - As I mentioned before, I've been planning to undertake a walking/ running program at the first of the year. In coming months I hope to add strength training and yoga classes.
• Create - develop some short story ideas I've had, redo my bedroom, learn basic HTML design

(In my "Work" category, I'm going to fill in my performance goals as they develop.)

I encourage you to try this, too, if you're so inclined to make NYR. Resist the urge to fill in every single square; it's not necessary. Space out the goals so that they will actually be attainable. Let me know some of your resolutions in the comments section.

Cheers!

Who knew the supermarket goats were so randy?

My supermarket has been undergoing an expansion and one of the things they've added is a fancy cheese shoppe. They have all kinds of European cheeses and cheeses with fruit in them and cheeses with stinky veins running in them. Also several goat cheeses. From goats raised by Paris Hilton, apparently:

On Martyrdom

I am much more upset by the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister and current opposition leader Benazir Bhutto that I probably should be.

I don't really talk about politics here much because I know that my readers have varying opinions and affiliations so I try not to offend anyone. I know you don't come here to read about politics so I try to be cognizant of that and leave that to the political bloggers. However, this story is about far more than politics.

I saw and heard many interviews with Bhutto when she returned to Pakistan in October. She was such a smart and courageous woman. She saw her father hung by a previous military government (after a farcical trial), yet she returned from self-imposed exile in spite of trumped-up corruption charges against her. She put her life at risk to save her country from dictatorship and that alone makes her an amazing woman.

Musharraf put her under house arrest with FOUR THOUSAND military police surrounding her home, yet couldn't provide enough security forces to keep someone from walking up to her and shooting her in the neck.

It saddens me. And it infuriates me that our government will continue to be on friendly terms with a government that would allow this to happen.

Heaven must be a better place with her presence. But her country, and indeed, the world, is a far worse place with her loss.

Today?

I just turned on the Today show. Willard Scott is sitting next to the anchors and Matt Lauer is talking about Bryant Gumbel and I'm wondering DID I WAKE UP IN 1985??

OMG ya'll. My bedroom looks like my closet threw up.

The worst part of being a working mom is that you just don't ever get a day off. I can spend the weekend in bed, but the laundry, it's not going to do itself.

So ladies, what do we do at this point? WE PLAY LAUNDRY BLACKJACK. This is a game with just one simple rule: find the right combination of clothes to put into the washer and receive the biggest payoff.

Whites? That'll give me underwear, and My Teenager some undershirts to wear under his jersey in his upcoming basketball games. (He was invited to play in a holiday tournament.) Whites are like...a face card.

Dress coloreds? I do need them, but it's Wednesday already. I can do Thursday and Friday with one hand tied behind my back. Dress coloreds: Eight.

Dark coloreds (jeans, boxers, t-shirts & polos)? The teen doesn't go back to school until January 7. He doesn't need clean clothes to lay around the house and play Xbox. Although the boxers may prove to become an issue sometime before the new year. Dark Coloreds: Ten.

White towels and socks? The boy is definitely going to need some socks. No WAY he can go without clean socks. Because seriously? Pee. YEW. Bleachable Whites: Ace.

Colored towels (bath size)? Ehh. I never throw away towels. The three of us could easily go two months without washing towels. Well...we could if people around here would hang up a towel and use it more than once what do you think this is anyway a fucking hotel??? Towels: a TWO.

Sheets? Please. I put clean ones on Sunday. I am not studying those dirty ones. Not, you know...until I need them. And surely they'll be washed by then. Sheets: a three.

And here's how you hit the lucky 21: You take some underwear and undershirts (a face card) and throw in some socks (Ace!) and BLACKJACK!

(It won't kill the socks to not be bleached this one time. If they're permanently stained then whatev. They have tons more at Target.)

The second mixed load will include my dress shirts and his boxers = 18. It's not a knock-out but it's just a runner-up so it doesn't have to be. Runners up get washed tomorrow. What? The Xmas episode of Gossip Girl is about to be on. And I need to wash my hair.

A girl's gotta have her priorities in order.

Merry Christmas!

c. 1994

D-minus-2

When you were a child, were you ever sick at Christmas? I remember one year my brother had the flu. On Christmas morning, the normally rambunctious boy laid back in a recliner chair looking green and showing very little emotion over the gifts he unwrapped.

We're just days away and I'm practically bedridden this weekend. My stomach ulcer - which hasn't given me trouble in years - flared up late last week. It feels like I'm driving nails up my arm in my stomach. Yesterday I went to the pharmacy and picked up some medicine, which doesn't seem to be helping a lot yet but is providing some wonderfully inconvenient side effects which I will not disgust you with.

Unfortunately, my office is working tomorrow. Well, some of us are. Many people took the day off. I think my boss is only going to keep us a half day though.

Hope your final days in the countdown are more pleasurable than mine.

UPDATE 12/24: I got to work 15 minutes late this morning and still had my pick of several spots right out front. I think we must be the only people here today...I am supremely dehydrated from my illness this weekend - to the point that my joints and muscles are in extreme pain. Like having the flu, only worse. More like having been run over by a bus. But what was I going to do? Call in SICK on Xmas eve? Oh yeah, that wouldn't seem suspicious at all.

If my dad were alive, this is totally a conversation we would have today

Me: Like my new silver shoes?

Dad: Do they cover your feet?

Me: Yeah...

Dad: Then I think they're great.

Me: They're Jessica Simpson's.

Dad: They are? Then what's she wearing?

I never really got the hang of this shopping-for-others thing anyway

My office is moving after the holidays. At first, I wasn't too happy about it because GOD, moving is such a pain in the ass and I LIKE the funky area of town we're in now and seriously? I'M GOING TO HAVE TO PAY FOR PARKING??

But now I'm starting to get kind of excited about it because I'm going to have my own office (right now we have a big, open warehouse-like space. Even the owner doesn't have her own office) and that means DECORATING and that means SHOPPING.

So new office = shopping. I could like this!

My new space is square with big windows on the back wall and a frosted glass front wall. So far, so good. The lighting is overhead flourescent which I HATE HATE FIERY HATE but! since it's my own office I can turn the lights OFF and light with lamps which is much more soothing and zen and less likely to cause migranes.

Need lamps = shopping! Yay!

Lamps must look cool but also must actually LIGHT THE ROOM so funky is nice but not if it isn't functional. In order to balance the light in the room, I want three lamps: 1) On my desk, 2) Floor lamp in the back corner, and 3) table and lamp in the front corner by chair. (Note to self: Also need chair.) So, for funky, functional, affordable ideas, I went online to - where else? - Target.

The walls are light grey and the carpet is...I don't know what. Some kind of textured multi-colored stuff. I already have this lamp on my desk, so we're going to work from there:



Option One: Which I will call "Chrome & Glass"
This floor lamp:

With this side table:
Which leaves open a variety of options for a colorful table lamp, such as this one:



Total cost for Chrome & Glass Option (three pieces): $148


Option Two: Which will be known as the "BLACK" option
This floor lamp, which looks kind of chrome here, but the web site describes as black w/ an ivory shade:

With this table:

And this lamp:

And hello? This chair??

Total cost for Black Option (three pieces): $310 (with chair: $440)


Option Three: Which I will call the "Yellow" Option
(keep in mind that yellow is sincerely one of my favorite colors b/c I like how it brightens a room and makes it feel like sunshine.)
This floor lamp:

With this table, which is great, because I can put my InStyle and Memphis magazines on the bottom shelf, for my guests' reading pleasure:

With this table lamp:

And, as a compliment, this chair (in velvet!):


Total cost of Yellow Option (three pieces): $500 (with chair: $600)

Please voice your vote in the comments section.

(You know what I just thought of? Art. For the walls. And also plants.)

My year in review

Yes, it's time for all those year-end countdowns. I love those things! Best Movies of the Year, Worst Fashion Disasters, Most Inarticulate Presidential Statement. I thought I would contribute my own Year-In-Review by repeating this meme from last year.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
I cut my hair short and LIKED IT

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any this year, but in '08 I'm starting an exercise program. I've been watching that Big Fat Loser show [I'm watching it now. Man, there's a lot of CRYING on this show.] and it's totally inspired me.

I also resolve to go to Europe this year. Dammit.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A former co-worker had a baby girl; Big Daddy's nephew and his wife had a son.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No *crosses self*

5. What countries did you visit?
*sigh* None. Again.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Energy. (see #2)

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
4th of July - the three of us took a fun trip to Chicago

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I was going to say a couple of national news stories I garnered for clients, but I'm going to scratch that and say that I hope my biggest achievement hasn't actually happened yet. (What? There's still time!)

9. What was your biggest failure?
That my master bedroom remains mostly un-decorated and highlighted by that ugly-ass cabinet-bed that I'm sure was quite stylish once. In the 80s.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully, no, nothing serious

11. What was the best thing you bought?
This Bag in -- wait for it -- EGGPLANT PATENT LEATHER. It is pure awesomeness.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My boss, who faces every adversity with honesty and integrity.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The President's

14. Where did most of your money go?
I have no idea. Seriously. Into savings I hope.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My Kid's middle school graduation, and his 14th birthday surprise party; our beach vacation always excites me

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Hey There, Deliah.

(When we were in Florida, we were in a theater waiting for the movie to start, watching the little slide show presentation thingy and that song is playing. It got to the part that goes, "Delilah I can promise you that by the time that we get through, the world will never ever be the same..." and then they cut the music to start the previews. And all these voices in the theater sang out together: "AND YOU'RE TO BLA-AME")

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) about the same; b) fatter; c) about the same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Time with friends

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Laundry. But I don't see any way around that one.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Quietly I hope, at home with just the family

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Yes

22. How many one-night stands?
Still none. (can we remove this question next year?)

23. What was your favorite TV program?
The Closer

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Yes, and I will just leave it at that.

25. What was the best book you read?
I'm having a hard time remembering what I've read this year. I know I really liked A Thousand Splendid Suns. Of course I burned through Deathly Hallows. And I enjoyed both of Jen Lancaster's books

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
My nephews' bands

27. What did you want and get?
A housekeeper!!!

28. What did you want and not get?
Those Stuart Weitzman oxfords. (Which, if I had gotten, I totally would have traded for a HOUSEKEEPER anyway, so I think I ended up on the up-side of that one.)

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Queen. Definitely The Queen.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
41 and I don't remember

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
World travel

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
"Does my ass look fat in this?"

33. What kept you sane?
A job I love, good friends, Starbucks coffee

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Posh, because I love how she totally rocks her style

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Healthcare in America

36. Who did you miss?
Still missing Bill...

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Phoebe. (OK, I actually met her in '06, but we got to be friends this year. So she was my best new friend this year.)

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Teenagers don't really listen to you, but it's very important to make them hear you. There's so much riding on it.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?
I don't remember growing older
When did they?

When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he get to be so tall?
Wasn't it yesterday
When they were small?

What words of wisdom can I give them?
How can I help to ease their way?

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears

An Open Letter to Holiday Advertisers

Dear Corporations,

Just because we only see your holiday ads once a year DOESN'T MEAN WE DON'T REMEMBER THEM FROM THE YEAR BEFORE. (And here's a hint: if it didn't convince me to buy your product last year, chances are running the exact same ad this year isn't going to have a different effect on me.)

Also, to that one casino advertising on the radio, it's never a good idea to call yourself the "Slot Capital of the South." No matter what kind of accent you have, it just doesn't sound nice.

Your welcome,
kalisah

Serious YUM

Here's a yummy treat you can make this holiday that's easy to make and will be fun for your kids to help with:

1. Preheat the oven to 175 degrees

2. Line a cookie sheet with foil

3. Lay out a single layer of small pretzel twists

4. Set one (unwrapped) [see where the kids come in?] Hershey Kiss or Hug on the center of each pretzel

5. Cook 5-7 minutes (white chocolate will melt faster than milk chocolate) until chocolate is soft

6. Press a holiday M&M (the green & red ones) onto the chocolate

7. Refrigerate until chocolate is hardened

8. Don't eat one. Seriously, don't eat one. Unless you plan to eat them all.

Sorry, could you say that a bit BIGGER please?

I've worn glasses since I was 12 (contacts since 14). My eyesight went from bad to worse to "legally blind" several years back. I'm one of those people who keeps my glasses in an exact spot on my bedside table. If they're not there, I'm screwed. I NEED my glasses to FIND my glasses.

When I went to the eye doctor 4 or 5 months ago, he noted my age and checked my near-vision. Which was fine. A-OK. Not getting old eyes here. Nope, not me. I laughed how my sister uses reading glasses on top of her contacts and he explained to me that it's two completely different things. The far-sightedness is a matter of the shape of your eyes (or something like that. IDK, go read webMD if you want facts) while the near-sightedness that sets in with age is a matter of those muscles required for close-up focusing losing their elasticity and ability to focus the eye.

Whatev.

I lost my first tooth when I was 8. Didn't get my period until I was 14. Boobs didn't come along until after high school. I am the epitomic late bloomer. My body thinks it's much younger than it actually is.

The way I calculate it, I got at least another five years before I need reading glasses. AT LEAST.

Only Memphis magazine didn't see it the same way.

One of my favorite periodicals, I pick it up every month at the grocery store. (I know, Mary Helen! I KNOW! I should subscribe! I KNOW!!) Today I picked up the December issue (I'm running a little late this month) and came home to read their gift guide suggestions and the fiction contest winner (it was not me), only...

I TOTALLY COULD NOT FOCUS ON THE PAGES. And dude, did it suck. I said to Big Daddy, "I think I need reading glasses." and of course he laughed at me. He thinks I'm "stuck on" this "getting old" thing. I tried to explain to him, "I'm not 'stuck on' this getting old thing...I AM GETTING OLD."

Reading glasses? Sounds like a good opportunity for a new fashion accessory to me!

I've been thinking...

There seems to be a lot of talk this year about how the holidays have become too commercial. But I'm going to argue just the opposite: I believe the holidays have become too charitable.

What is it about the holidays that brings out the call for charitable giving? Radiothons for Make--A-Wish, food drives, coat donations, Toys for Tots. It is every. freaking. where and you can not get away from it.

Are there really that many people who make generous end-of-the-year donations as a way of lowering their taxable income? No, I think all this holiday-related giving is a way to relieve the guilt people feel for having IGNORED THE NEEDY ALL YEAR LONG.

I think it's pitiful that charitable organizations have to wait until the very last weeks of the year to have people pay attention to them. I believe the extravagant commercialism of the holidays causes a guilt that then drives shoppers to drop their spare change into the Salvation Army bucket.

If we all were to cut back on our holiday spending, buying only just a few small trinkets for our immediate family, no one would feel the need to make sure that the less fortunate were taken care of in December.

Also...that "PS I Love You" movie? Didn't Jennifer Garner already make that film?

Admitting you have a problem is the first step

I'm Kalisah and I'm powerless over turtlenecks.

As I posted that yesterday, I found myself practically slapped in the face with...err...support for my argument.


First, there is Oprah's new mag, with the "How Not to Look Old" cover story, which stressed several rules, one of which is illustrated here:

And I quote: "Dowdy jeans and a turtleneck are functional and forgettable: another reason to take good old Mom for granted." In my defense, I have eschewed the mom jeans. My jeans are stylish and hip. And apparently completely offset by my sick reliance on the turtleneck.

Then, there is Katie Holmes on the cover of the January InStyle:

Obviously I would wear a SHIRT under the vest for the office, but look what we have...a funky fresh SUIT. Professional and creative. And probably WAAAAY out of my price range. Still, it's progress. Signs that I am at least facing the right direction now.

Mid-life Fashion Crisis

I guess it's common for women to experience a bit of a fashion dilemma when they hit their 40s. I know, I watch Stacy & Clinton. I've seen it. Still wearing clothes from the 80s, still trying to dress like they're 25.

(I love when Clinton says, "You look like you're trying to compete with 25-year-olds, and 25-year-olds always win. You know why? THEY'RE TWENTY-FIVE!!!!")

I consider my fashion sense pretty solid. I follow trends. Read the mags. Live blog the red carpets. I'm a people watcher who's wished for years I could make a living doing make-overs because oh. emm. gee. did you SEE what she was wearing???

And yet.

I find myself with a fashion dilemma of my own. Not a specific issue, like "What shoes should I wear with my pretty new party dress?" But a full-on wardrobe dilemma.

I work for a small, privately owned PR firm. It's a creative business. I think it's important that my look reflect my creativity. My clients deserve that. But I'm also part of the executive team, so it's also important that my look reflect my professionalism. My boss expects that.

I have suits. I wear them when we have client meetings. And I have empire-waist dresses that I pair with leggings. It's not really working for me, though. There's got to be a better way to do this. There must be a way to dress professionally - in suits, even - and still look creative and funky and original.

I need rules! I need stylists! I need $5,000 and a shopping trip to New York!

My initial thought is "Accessorize." (It is, afterall, our ability to accessorize that separates us from the animals.)

(You totally knew I was going to say that, didn't you?)

Funky shoes, colorful belts, cuff bracelets, chunky necklaces, chandelier earrings, cashmere scarves. I probably don't spend near enough of my fashion budget on accessories.

More than that, I've gotten lazy I think. I should spend more time seeking out the fun (age-appropriate) fashions and boutique stores. It is time for me to STEP AWAY FROM THE GAP TURTLENECKS.

So you say you're not going to raise your kids in church?

My Kid Teenager: Why do those people have NOEL [pronounced to rhyme with the name "JOEL"] in their yard?

Me: It's "NO-EL"

My Teenager: Oh. What does that mean?

Me: ...

Ways in which I differ from my sister, as made apparent in last night's phone call

We both bake for the holidays, but...
She -
Lets her kids lick the beaters.
I -
Cut off the end of the store-bought roll of cookie dough for My Kid.

She -
Sends her kids out to the neighbors distributing the holiday goodies.
I -
Gave cookies to my favorite Starbucks barristas.

Her pre-teen son-
Was sent to town with some money for a haircut, and both were satisfied with the result.
My Kid-
Hasn't had a hair cut in six months, and there doesn't seem to be a damn thing I can do about it.

She -
Volunteers with her family at the local food pantry at the holidays.
I -
Am donating shoes to Piperlime.

'Tis the season to have your priorities in order

Piperlime is running a holiday promotion - Donate shoes for the needy and receive $15 off any order over $75. (Click on the "Give Shoes, Be Merry" link on their homepage.) My first thought was: Do needy people need 4-inch strappy sandals?

And then I remembered: EVERYONE NEEDS 4-INCH STRAPPY SANDALS.

Fashionably Lame

Yesterday I took a client to a national morning talk show (I saw Brooke Burke in the green room). Afterwards, we walked around midtown Manhattan a bit. And I mean to tell you, I can't remember the last time I felt so completely un-stylish.

Yes, me. Overdressed girl.

First, it was 29 degrees (windchill: 11. EEE. LEVEN.). So I wore a pair of black dresspants, a black ribbed turtleneck and a lavender velvet blazer with a darker purple rose print. Black Steve Madden boots (which I highly recommend, BTW. Very comfortable). I thought I looked appropriately professional. And also warm.

I'm pretty sure I was one in 8 million dressed so appropriately. Here's what the chic were wearing in New York:

Leggings - At least 85 percent of the women I saw in the city were wearing leggings/ footless tights (is there a difference? I get a little confused). It absolutely is the way to wear skirts this winter. I saw leggings with flats and heels equally. Apparently it's no big deal to go out with bare ankles when it's 11 degrees outside. Hey, we make all kinds of sacrifices in the name of fashion.

Swingy coats - Whether short, boxy jackets or knee-length trapeze coats, kicky coats were all the rage among women who want to look like Audrey.

Skinny jeans & boots - Just so you know, we're still tucking our jeans into our boots this winter. In case you were wondering. Not that I was or anything.

Overheard in New York

Assistant producer, on phone, gathering information about the Omaha mall shooting: "The FBI and what? The ATI?...ATF? Oh. What does that stand for?"

I think I figured out why the city doesn't sleep

When the car dropped us off at the hotel (at midnight), I thought, "Oh! How nice! A boutique hotel! It'll be so European!"

And then I got to the room.

I know, you're thinking, "Nice bed." But let me be clear with you: THIS IS THE ENTIRE ROOM. I AM STANDING UP AGAINST THE DOOR. You are looking at the window curtains (which did not close, BTW) on the right and in the bottom left you see the opposite corner of the room. It was 6x6, max.

Things I forgot to pack when I found out at noon that I'd be on a plane to NY at 6:15

1. my iPod
Even if you're traveling with a companion, when you make same-day reservations there's a good chance that you won't be sitting together and you will instead be seated next to a 40-year-old financial planner who wants to tell you about his college football career at Dartmouth.
2. Something (anything!) to sleep in
Luckily there was a complimentary robe that I wrapped up in before getting into bed.
3. My glasses
So I took my contacts out the very last thing before climbing into bed. In the complimentary robe.

MORE NEWS

Look!

USAToday.com pulled my comment for the Life home page! (Can you see it? Or is it too small? )

In the News Today

New intelligence says Iran discontinued their attempts to obtain nuclear weapons in 2003. Wait, wait...I know this one! Now we send an intelligence agent to Africa, and when he can't prove that Iran tried to buy plutonium, the VP's assistant will out his wife as a secret agent and we'll go to war anyway!

Thief steals more than $100K in cash from the Union Rescue Mission safe in LA. The money was the savings of the homeless men in the mission, their hope for a future. Police suspect an inside job. If you'd like to donate to the mission this holiday season, now would be a good time.

I think it's wonderful that GOP candidate Mike Huckabee denounced waterboarding as torture, but he wouldn't condone the practice because it doesn't work? How about because it's morally and ethically wrong??

And finally...
A cat survives 19 days with a peanut butter jar stuck on its head.

Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish readers and friends!

Little Pink Houses

A couple years ago, this woman moved into our neighborhood. She was a single mother with three children (including bi-racial twins) who was an...err...dancer for a living. And let me tell you, when she bought a house on our suburban cul-de-sac, our white-bread, Republican neighbors were none too happy.

How dare such a disgraced woman own a house where they lived. How disturbing that she could have a big-screen TV and a leather sectional couch and video games and all those other things that, by right, belong to hard-working, college-educated, pro-life Christians.

Me, I didn't mind so much having her here. You know, I'm all about the diversity. Plus, before she showed up, I was the Outcast Mom, what with my full-time job and John Kerry yard sign.

I ran into Single Mom at Starbucks occasionally and found out that she was going to cooking school. Last time I saw her she told me that she'd finished school and gotten a job as a sous-chef at one of the golf/ country clubs here.

A few months ago, the older son of one of our other neighbors - let's just call them the Ole Miss Rebels - started playing with those despicable bi-racial girls. Well, the Rebels were having NONE of that. They put their house up for sale.

Before long, Single Mom's house went up for sale, too. I didn't think too much of it. Until a couple weeks ago. When My Kid told me that they'd moved out. Even though the For Sale sign remained. Until a couple days ago. Big Daddy thinks the foreclosers got 'em.

After they moved out, the Rebels For Sale sign came down too. They figured maybe the neighborhood hadn't completely gone to hell in a hand basket afterall.

Maybe one of her babydaddies went to jail and the child payments stopped. Maybe she fell victim to a predatory lender and after a couple years her mortgage payment doubled (or tripled). Maybe she could raise three kids alone on a stripper's wages but a "legitimate" job just didn't cut it.

Who knows? All I know is the white-bread prejudice suburbanites won.

The Dream Kalisah Inside of Your Head

I had another of my recurring dreams - the one where all my teeth are falling out. It's a horrible dream where my teeth are breaking off like glass in my mouth and I'm spitting them out in my hand. I've had it for years.

At Dream Moods, they say that dreams that your teeth are falling out are the most common dreams they receive there. Huh. Who knew? They give several possible interpretations, including:

• "Dreams about your teeth reflect your anxiety about your appearance and how others perceive you."
• "Falling teeth dreams may be rooted in your fear of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in some specific situation. These dreams are an over-exaggeration of your worries and anxiety."

No pun intended, I'm sure, in the "rooted in fear" statement. And then there's this one:

• "The loss of teeth in your dream may be from a sense of powerlessness. Perhaps you are having difficulties expressing yourself or getting your point across. You feel frustrated when your voice is not being heard. You may be experiencing feelings of inferiority and a lack of self-confidence in some situation or relationship in your life. This dream is an indication that you need to be more assertive and believe in the value of your own opinion."

Another dream I have a lot is that I'm trying to go somewhere but I just can't get all my shit together. I'm in a rush and it's very important and I'm gathering gathering gathering everything but I just can't get it all together.

That wasn't one of their common dreams that I could look up on the site, but I found these things:

• To dream that you feel frustrated, represents your difficulty in coping with a situation in your daily life. It may reflect your concerns that your life is not going in the direction you want.
• To see or carry baggage in your dream, refers to the problems and things that you are carrying on your shoulders and weighing your down. It may also be symbolic of your identity.

Well, I'm not sure how intuitive that is. I could've guessed they would say that trying to carry a lot represents that you feel weighed down. Or maybe it just means that it's time to clean out my handbag.

The other common dreams listed on the site include naked dreams, chase dreams, falling dreams, flying dreams and test dreams. And let's not forget naked test dreams. I've actually not had any of these with any regularity. I had a friend in high school who had flying dreams - dreams that she could fly like a bird high in the sky. I never had one of those, but then I've always been a bit afraid of heights.

What recurring dreams do you have?

Estranged

This was one of today's secrets. I've given some consideration as to whether I should reach out to my mother during the holidays. You remember, I'm sure, that we have been estranged since the fall out over some things I wrote here, when I did not know that she was reading. And I'm sorry that I hurt her feelings. I certainly did not write what I did with that intention. But the truth is, I could have sent in this card.