Here's how I'm enjoying the holidays so far

Instead of...
1. Holiday lights that make your house look like a tasteful strip mall
2. Original holiday pop tunes
3. Overconsumption
4. Christmas specials that are really just poorly disguised network promos
5. Holiday dieting
6. Crowded malls
7. Family craziness
8. Office party drunkenness
9. Holiday stress
10. Forcing oneself into last year's LBD

Try...
1. Fun holiday light displays
2. Funky carols*
3. Charitable gifts
4. Charlie Brown Christmas special
5. Cookies, brownies and hot chocolate
6. Online shopping
7. Holiday getaway
8. Secret spa appointment
9. Prayer and medication I mean meditation
10. Pie. Lots and lots of pie.



* - I recommend "We Three Kings" by Barenaked Ladies and "Angels We Have Heard on High" by Reliant K.

No, I've not met her

Caroline Kennedy is 50.




All things considered ("when it comes to suffering, she's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor"), I don't think she's aged all that well. Thoughts?

Famous People I Have Met

I have a link over there -----> on the right -----> entitled "Famous People I Have Met."

DON'T CLICK ON IT YET.

I have to tell you something first. Then you can read it.

I made the list because I have been really lucky to have met an awful lot of famous people in my work. A LOT. And it's kind of cool when you think about it. I didn't make it to brag. Because I'm not bragging. I hate braggers (braggerts?). I'm also not trying to name drop. Because, as I pointed out, it's not like any of these people remember meeting ME. I'm not saying I could pick up the phone and call one of them on their cell. I'm just saying, "Look how lucky I've been to have met such an assortment of interesting people." "Who are famous."

So I made the list & I stuck a link over there -----> on the right ----->. But I didn't say anything about it being there or write a post about it. Then I got a comment in my email from someone named Daffy Man!! [with the !!] and he said, "That would be cool if you had photos to post, too." And I do. I have photos with a lot of these people. Not all of them, but a lot of them. And I agree, Daffy Man!!, that would be cool to post. Cool, but practically imposible as I wouldn't begin to know where to find any of those photos anymore.

So in lieu of posting photos with my celebrity friends, I wrote a line or two about my impression of them. It's not exactly US Weekly-quality stuff, but you might find it moderately entertaining.

That's it. Go ---------->

Fashion Police with a crappy little camera phone

Today we went to the Tiger football game. It was FREEZING. There were only about 4,500 people there. We left after the first half. Good thing, too, since it ended up going into triple OT.

Since it was so cold, I was wearing a hat, scarf and white down jacket. I expected people to have on their winter garb, but I didn't realize there were so many devoted fans who owned winter Tigerwear.

I mean, I have several coats for various wear, but none of them have the logo of my favorite team on the back.

(Then again, neither do I own a furry blue hat.)

Welcome to the 21st century, where you find out your ex doesn't want to get back with you b/c he's moved a new girl into his #1 spot on MySpace

So apparently, when My Kid and Spice Girl broke up last month, they never actually got back together even though they've been talking and hanging out and I even took the two of them - just the two of them, not meeting a group - to a movie like a week ago.

Now Spice Girl thinks she's ready to get back with My Kid, but he's moving on. He's got his eye on a SOPHOMORE girl from his algebra class. This afternoon, while I was drying my toes at the nail salon, Spice Girl texts me and says that she knows now that it's really over b/c My Kid has moved Soph Girl to his number 1 spot on his MySpace page.

Ouch.

That's gotta hurt. Then she says that she wants to talk to him and she's going to walk over to the house and is he home? So I text My Kid to warn him, you know, b/c I don't want him taken by surprise. And he's all "No, Mom" and I'm all, "Hey, wasn't my idea."

When I get home Big Daddy tells me I should have just stayed out of it and I'm like WHAT DID I DO?? He thinks if the Kid doesn't want to talk to her he shouldn't have to b/c it upsets him but I'm thinking he can't be all that upset if he's staying up past midnight on the phone with Soph Girl.

I don't want My Kid to be the kind of guy who avoids relationship closure b/c it's just easier that way. I told him he was being a pussy that he needs to go finish it. Big Daddy thinks I should stay out of it and let him do whatever he wants.

What do you think?

Movies I want to see (UPDATED)

Movies I've Seen
This Christmas
As far as holiday fare goes, this one was decent. I had a hard time figuring out who all the characters were at first - there's a lot of kids in this family, plus in-laws, boyfriends, cousins, etc. Regina King is SMOKIN HOT in this movie and I'm totally psyched up to start an exercise routine now. Well, not now. After the holidays I mean. B+

Movies I Want to See
Before The Devil Knows You're Dead
I hear this is going to be the movie of the year
August Rush
I think it's the music part that appeals to me b/c it's certainly not Felicity
This Christmas
I'm such a sucker for dysfunctional family holiday movies
Lars and the Real Girl
I'm a big Ryan Gosling fan since I saw Half Nelson

Movies I'll Probably Rent
Bella
I'm not a hundred percent sure what it's about, but it won in Toronto.
Martian Child
I do love me some John Cusack
Assasination of Jesse James
This was supposed to be so good and I'm not sure if it ever even played here?
I'm Not There
Worth the rental fee just to see Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan

Movies I'd Rather Gnaw My Own Arm Off Than Sit Through
Beowulf
I think every macho movie fan like Big Daddy who goes to see this should be forced to read the epic poem first. "I'm here to kill your monster," I'm sure.
Fred Claus
Just...ugh.
Lions for Lambs
Because I'm still boycotting that crazy Tom Cruise

I'm seriously considering serving toast and popcorn Thursday

Don't forget - tonight is the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special on ABC. I love that show. I love all the Charlie Brown shows. My Kid never got into them; in fact, I'm not sure he ever even watched them. When we were kids, we didn't have cartoons at our disposal 24/7, so when the holiday shows came on THEY WERE SPECIAL.

Who's your favorite Peanuts character? Which one do you relate to the most?

As a kid, I think I was kind of bossy like Lucy.

Lucy was introduced into the strip on March 3, 1952 as a wide-eyed baby who constantly tormented her parents. Very early on, Schulz eliminated the circles around her eyes and allowed her to mature to the age of the other characters. She soon grew into her familiar persona of a bossy, crabby girl.

But now that I'm grown, I think I'm most like Frieda, she of the "naturally curly hair."

Journalist Christopher Caldwell described her as, "A fetching, kind and charming girl, who throws her deeper goodness away because she wants to be admired for such superficialities as 'being a good conversationalist'."

And don't forget for her "naturally curly hair"!

No basting for me

Every year, we order a smoked turkey from Corky's. It's good, too. That's right. I have never cooked a turkey. I do cook all the sides and my MIL brings a Mrs. Smith's pumpkin pie and the deed is done. Then I try to shuffle them out the door so I can take a nap.

Thanksgiving has traditionally been one of my favorite holidays but this year I'm all, "Wha...? It's Thanksgiving ALREADY? How the fuck is that possible?"

I used to work at a national fund-raising charity and after eight years of doing PR for annual events, you get burned out. You suffer from been-there-done-that-ism and you don't want to do the same old event AGAIN. That's kind of how I feel about Thanksgiving this year. We've already DONE this 14 times...can we just take this year off?

This year, I ordered my turkey from Corky's. Also dressing, gravy and yams. Which of course I will dump into my own serving dishes before the inlaws arrive. The only thing I'm making is green bean casserole. Then I'm opening a can of cranberry and tah-daaaaah. Sit back and soak up the compliments, babee.

Friday my only plans are to get a pedicure. I FINALLY had a day off yesterday - the first in two weeks - and I spent it doing laundry, grocery shopping and getting ready for the holiday. I desperately, DESPERATELY need a day to kick back and relax and do nothing.

So, when did Thanksgiving become a 5-day weekend and how come I don't get Wednesday off?

On an only semi-unrelated note, the new Thanks and Giving PSAs are up on the St. Jude web site. I like the Reggie Bush one the best.

Friday...right?

I haven't been able to get my overly-exhausted brain to develop a semi-coherent thought this week, much less an entire post. I was sooooo looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow - the first day in 14 that I didn't have to set an alarm. But this afternoon I realized that I have ANOTHER MEDIA EVENT I have to be at at 10 in the morning. Rats. *charlie brown droopy head posture*

So I'm going to give you some photos and some great comments I've read (or heard) this week...mostly not my own.

**********
Over at GFY, Heather had this to say about runway model Agyness Deyn:

"...when I saw the thumbnail for this photo, I thought, 'Holy hot DAMN, Macaulay Culkin hit his head and thinks he's in Duran Duran.' And I'm not sure that's a clever style choice as much as an ill-conceived VH-1 holiday rock opera..."

**********

When I saw this photo of Mary Kate at the 7th On Sale event on USA Today Lifeline Live, I had this brilliant observation:

"There is something wrong when your shoes weigh more than the weight of your combined legs."

**********

The Commercial Appeal's sports columnist Geoff Calkins had this to say yesterday about the Tigers playing in the Coaches vs. Cancer tournament in New York:

"Good news, Memphis! They haven't renamed the place 'The Rose Garden' or anything. It's still Madison Square Garden, The World's Most Famous Arena...It's not The Rose Garden...Of course, Derrick Rose hasn't played a college game here yet."

UPDATE: Tigers beat Oklahoma 63-53.

**********

Poet David Kirby was up for the National Book Award in New York Wednesday. He did not win, but he had this to say about the experience:

"I live in Tallahassee, Florida, which only has about four people in it, so to be up here - it's just like being yanked up to another planet."

At least I've been able to keep up with the laundry

Well, sort of...

There's plenty of clean clothes. But they're not going to look very pretty if you try to wear them.

An awesome photo from today's paper

of my event Sunday.

Amazing Grace

So look. You know I don't like to blog about work or certainly not about a client. But I have to tell you about this.

I experienced my first Pentecostal tent revival today.

The event was a community-based giveaway to the needy. But I guess, being good evangelists, they wanted to try to save all the needy people first. So there was a tent set up with chairs and a small platform at the front where some musicians were seated and there was a preacher with a microphone.

When I arrived, I thought maybe they were playing gospel music on some big speakers. But then I realized it was LIVE! in the tent. So I ventured in.

There were people scattered about in the chairs, but the largest crowd was at the front, surrounding the platform, where the music was pounding and the preacher was yelling excitedly into the microphone. He was saying exactly what you'd expect - if you're not saved, then you're going to hell and raise your hands if you know for sure that you would go to heaven if you died tomorrow and if you couldn't raise your hands then YOU ARE NOT SAVED AND YOU NEED TO COME DOWN HERE AND BE BLESSED BY THE LORD! AND BAPTIZED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT!

And then he started speaking in tongues. I consider myself a pretty good writer, but I don't even know how to describe it. It sounded like when you type with your fingers on the wrong keys and don't know it smf dp s;; upit eptfd rmf i[ ;pplomh ;olr yjod/ [translation: and so all your words end up looking like this.]

One lady seemed to be having an out-of-body experience - which, I guess maybe she was - and three other ladies stood around her holding hands forming a circle to protect her and PRAISE JESUS! as she flayed around and got religion.

I'm pretty sure the preacher healed a few people, too.

It was awesome.

See, because I'm not judgmental about religion. If there's one thing I've learned about religion it's to each his own. I don't think there is a right or wrong faith, or way to worship. Maybe religion is the opiate of the masses, but maybe that just means that religion gives people what they need to face the world each day. (Heaven knows we need something to get us through.) So, whatever works for you, man. Whatever provides you with strength in times of trial and comfort in times of grief, you know?

So do your thing. Swoon or stomp or heal or cry or shout or shake your tambourine. Don't mind me - I may tap my foot a bit - but you'll for sure see a smile on my face. Because a person can't help but get caught up in the spirit.

Meme for the Sleep Deprived

Kaleigh didn't actually tag me for this, but I'm stealing it from her anyway. She used it for her daily NaNoNaNo post (or whatever it's called) b/c she had just worked an around-the-clock shift and since we're obviously working similar hours this week, I'm following her lead.


Four First Names of Crushes I’ve Had
1. Andy - my second-grade love
2. Matt - fourth grade
3. Jeff - an older man in church (he was 12, I think?)
4. Steve - Mr. Most Handsome in high school


Four Pieces of Clothing I Wish I Still Owned
1. my Jordache jeans, circa 1983
2. my green, sleeveless jumpsuit and white shirt with HUGE collar from my 3rd grade school photo, circa 1975
3. my all-polyester white baptism dress, circa 1974
4. my paisley red velvet dress from the family Christmas card, circa 1970


Four Names I’ve Been Called at One Time or Another
1. kalisha
2. calista
3. kalissah (rhymes w/ "melissa")
4. clarissa
(none of which are actually my name)


Four Professions I Secretly Want to Try
1. rock star
2. high school english teacher
3. magazine columnist
4. book editor


Four Musicians I’d Most Want to Go on a Date With
1. Harry Connick Jr.
2. Freddie Mercury (what? does he have to be alive? or straight? FREDDIE MERCURY WAS A MUSICAL GENIUS, MAN.)
3. Jon Bon Jovi (I'm totally showing my age)
4. Kristen Chenowith (I have such a girl-crush on her.)


Four Foods I’d Rather Throw Than Eat
1. meat that's on a bone
2. salad
3. sausage
4. the ends of long skinny food like french fries, fried cheese, hot dogs, etc.


Four Things I Like to Sniff
1. Pomegranate beanpod candles
2. fresh-cut limes
3. lavendar (when I'm tired)
4. inside my Starbucks

Really? It's FRIDAY? I had no idea.

Today, I have hit the wall.

As of right now, I have worked 50 hours (and 30 minutes) this week. But I won't finish today for about another six hours.

Then, 12 more hours tomorrow.

And about 6 hours Sunday.

Then my event will be over.

And I can begin next week's work. (We have a new client and it's VERY EXCITING. So yay that.)

Wanna see my blisters?

Oh. Em. Gee

(My feet hurt so freaking bad.)

(Yes, I just got home)

Big Daddy just asked me to put some of My Kid's clothes in the wash. He said, "I can put them in the dryer, but he won't let me wash them b/c he thinks I'll mess them up."

So I tell My Kid to bring me whatever he needs washed - jeans, boxers, whatev. And I make him come downstairs and in my I've-been-way-too-easy-on-you-kids voice -- which was always the MOST HATED lecture of my youth -- I say, "A 14-year-old boy should know how to wash his own clothes."

And he says, "I know how. I just don't like to."

In which case, I suppose I should THANK YOU then for saving it for me to do! Because god knows, there is NOTHING I LIKE TO DO BETTER THAN YOUR LAUNDRY.

Take a walk down memory lane with me

Back in 1978, a new girl moved into our school sometime after eighth grade had already started. Let's call her Lily. She was quiet as a church mouse and just as shy. The way I remember it, I singled her out in my English class right away and decided that I would like to be friends with her. I don't know if that's actually the way it happened or not; nevertheless, she became one of my best friends and we remain close to this day (although not geographically).

I guess I wasn't the only one who took notice of cute, shy Lily. There was a boy in band with us named Mitch who also set his sights on her. They began "going together" and ended up dating for like 4 years. (Lily apparently does well with long-term relationships.)

As you know, My Kid has a girlfriend, whom I call Spice Girl. And she has a best friend, the un-boyfriended Emily. Big Daddy has noted to me that he feels sorry for Emily b/c she's always the third-wheel with the two of them.

Emily is Me.

I was the third wheel of the Lily-Mitch couple for like two years. I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was almost 16 so I lived vicariously through Lily and tried to learn everything I could about boys and kissing and all those other important teen-age issues.

Our sophomore year, I didn't see so much of Mitch. He was still in 9th grade at the junior high (he was the same age as us, but a year behind in school. Late birthday or whatever). My sophomore year was actually the most unhappy of my high school years. For personal reasons at home, but also I was really, really unhappy in high school band. I was third-chair clarinet and the first and second chair girls (a junior and a senior) were really mean to me. I wasn't anywhere near as good a player as they were and they would sit there and talk bad about me like I couldn't hear them. We took a band trip to Disney World which was fun but I was too chicken to ride any good rides like Space Mountain so Lily and I didn't really hang out together on that trip.

Junior year I dropped band and, while Lily and I were still friends, we just didn't see that much of each other. She was hanging with the band crowd which included Mitch and I was hooked up with the choir crowd. I think we had just one class together (English).

Sometime during his Sophomore year, Mitch really came in to his own. He was the first surfer-guy in a high school whose cliques were as simply defined as jocks, preppies, stoners and the stirrings of just a few punks. (Or maybe he was a skater-boy. IDK. It was 1983 so I'm going with surfer.) He grew his bangs out long and bleached them blond. He wore some Sex Wax t-shirt to class. Once during a choir performance in the gym, I was standing next to Suzanne (the most popular girl in my class), looking out over the student body, when she said to me, "Mitch is so hot. I wish that Lily would get her claws out of him."

While Lily had also come out of her shell as she made friends and found her place in high school, she maintained her conservative, preppy image. She began to grow weary of his "weirdness" and they broke up sometime during our junior year. Later that summer of '83, Lily's dad was transferred to Florida and we've not lived in the same state since. I can't even think when the last time I might have talked to Mitch was.

But I do love finding out where people are now and what they're doing. And yesterday, someone from home sent me this link. Which has me wondering why everyone from high school looks to have grown up except me. And Lily. Who also still looks 25.

Some days you're just too busy, even for Ross

This afternoon I went to Starbucks (yes, the same downtown Starbucks where I earlier this week fell off the curb) because oh em gee, we are having one long week and seriously, is it not Saturday morning yet? No? It's only Thursday afternoon? THEN I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO NEED A COFFEE.

As I approached the Starbucks, there were all these trucks. And shit. Lots of shit. For at least two city blocks prior to the Starbucks corner. And I'm thinking, "What the hell is all this shit?" and as I approach the Westin Hotel next door to the Starbucks, I see all this equipment that I recognize from the many, many film and video shoots I have been on in my career. And I realized they were filming the movie at the Westin today. They've been filming the movie all over town for the last week or so.

So while I'm waiting on my coffee, this guy I know named Nathan walks in. He's a sound guy that I worked with on the previously mentioned film and video shoots. I asked him if he was working on the movie and duh. So I said, "Anyone exciting over there?" And he says, "Alan Alda. Matt Dillon. David Schwimmer." And at that point, rather than asking if he'll take me over and let me check out the action I simply take my coffee, bid Nathan adieu and leave. I have a lot of shit to do after all, and it's only Thursday.



Editor's Note:
I'm not going to be around much the next few weeks. One of our clients has a huge, huge event starting Monday, Nov. 5 (which, BTW is my birthday) and it lasts until the following Tuesday, Nov. 13, during which time me and 70,000 of my closest friends will be spending some quality time together from 8 a.m. until like 10 at night.

Then, on that Wednesday (the 14th) and Thursday (15th), another client of mine is having a big huge event of their own. Which I will be working at. And so basically I will not get a day off for like twelve straight days and I will probably accumulate 150 hours during those days so it's entirely possible, nay, probable, that I won't be posting until, like, the week of Thanksgiving. See ya then.