Happy Halloween

(I'm still trying to figure out why Tiki Barber was dressed as a dragon.)

In other news:

1. We think someone tried to break in last night. Our dog in the backyard started barking sometime early this morning - before sunrise. It woke up both me & Big Daddy. But we've been having an armadillo problem in our neighborhood (I know, right?? I thought they were only in Texas) so we figured it was something like that noodling around antagonizing the dog. Then at about 7:30 someone called and said they had our dog. We couldn't figure out how that could have happened, so I looked out to see if the gate (which is kept locked) had somehow come open. It hadn't, but the 2x4 post at the corner had been wrenched out with a crowbar. Sweet.
2. I went to the downtown Starbucks this morning to get a coffee. When I came out, this homeless guy out front says, "Hey lady, will you buy my a sandwich?" I said, "I don't have any cash, but I'll buy you a cup of coffee." (I have $$ loaded on a Starbucks card.) He kind murmured something and I kept walking to my car, which was parked on the front curb. I unlocked my car, opened my door and proceed to fall off the curb and literally land in the gutter, my coffee landing splat in the floor of the driver's side. I looked up to the sky and said, "OK! I GET IT!! I'LL HELP THE HOMELESS DUDE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUSH ME OFF THE CURB." I went back in, had them remake my coffee and bought the homeless guy a cup too. Sheesh.
3. Well there's not really a three. Except that I'm going to the Grizzlies opener tonight against the Spurs (Hi, Tony! xoxo) so for the first time in years I won't be home to hand out the candy. I have a feeling the boys will just turn off all the lights and eat it themselves.

Untitled at the risk of going on morbid poetry for-whom-the-bell-tolls on you

Big Daddy had a lot of family in town last weekend. His niece and nephew (who are only just younger than he is) and their three children were here. They are the children of Big Daddy's sister who died of cancer about 10 years ago (she was 49).

My in-laws have never really gotten over the loss of their only daughter, especially Dad. I don't think it's ever easy to bury your child, no matter the age. As Sally Field said in Steel Magnolias, you're always ready to go first.

They enjoyed seeing their sixth, seventh and eighth great-grandchildren, but I think it breaks their heart that their daughter never got to see her grandchildren. It's all bittersweet to them.

Dad is going to be 87 next week. Which, let's face it, is pretty amazing. But his grandchildren really noticed a difference in him from the last time they visited. I guess it's harder for us to notice, since we see them so often. He's losing his vision from macular degeneration, and is nearly completely deaf. Mom worries that he's getting Alzheimer's, but I think his occasional memory loss is pretty typical of the aging process.

But the grandchildren noticed how he's "turned inward." He didn't speak to them hardly at all, slept all day, would want to leave the restaurant as soon as he finished dinner. Big Daddy thinks it's b/c he can't hear or see so well, but they referred to it as this "turning inward." His niece felt like this is part of the normal aging process, when one's life is winding down and one begins to prepare oneself for the end of one's life. Not consciously perhaps, but just as part of the life cycle.
I don't know, because this is all new territory to me. My father died after a fairly lengthy illness when he was in his early 70s. My grandmother and grandfather both died suddenly and also in their mid-70s. So I've not ever dealt with old age and the process of a life slowly coming to an end naturally.

I definitely noticed when it was time to say good bye that Dad was nowhere around. I got the strong feeling that it is hard for him to say good bye to anyone any more. He thinks it may be forever.

After having this discussion with the grandchildren Sunday night, I brought it up to Big Daddy yesterday. I felt like he needed to be aware of what everyone else seems to be noticing. I think it probably upset him. He didn't really show it but I imagine he knows this and does not like to speak of it aloud.

Later last night, his mother called. Dad had made the comment to her that he was "not long for this earth." Big Daddy was very upset. He thought one of us had said something to THEM about this. He thought it was one hell of a coincidence if we hadn't.

What I tried to explain to him is that it's not coincidence at all. It's there. It's something that everyone is feeling and noticing, including Dad.

If anyone has any experience with this I'd appreciate your perspective.

Funny, or obnoxious?

So this morning I get in my car, and my radio is blaring some urban rap station. And I think, "Oh, OK, Big Daddy and the Kid used my car last night." And I turn the radio down and push pre-set button 1 for my NPR station.

Only nothing changes.

So I push pre-set button 2 for my hits-of-the-80s-and-90s station.

And nothing changes.

So I push pre-set button 3 for my top 40 station.

Aaaaand...nothing changes.

You're maybe sensing a pattern at this point, much as I did myself.

Yes, My Kid re-set all my pre-set buttons to the same loud, urban rap station.

Funny? Or obnoxious?

Because I'm going with obnoxious, but I tend to have very little sense of humor where my family is concerned and I'm wondering if I should lighten up a bit.

A Study in My Kid (c. 1995-2000)

After bath, age 2, with curls

In the car, age 3, with cool shades

Pre-K, age 4, with dirty shoes

Easter, age 5, on a pony

The Liberty Bowl, age 6, with BB King

Birthday, age 7, with cake

David Sedaris on James Frey

"In his book, he basically says: 'I'm a fucked up alcoholic.'

And then people said, 'That fucked up alcoholic lied to us!'

Well, that's what fucked up alcoholics do."

Brilliant!

Dave Grohl is the cool one (Dave Navarro is the weird one)

Last night I was listening to the NPR "Fresh Air" interview w/ Dave Grohl, who I really like.

(One of my favorite moments in the Tom Petty documentary was when the Heartbreaker's drummer was on the way out and they were set to play Saturday Night Live. It was after Kurt Cobain's death and before Dave started Foo Fighters and Tom asked him to play with the band. They played "Honeybee" which is a totally rocking song, and Dave had long hair, around his shoulders, all one length, and when the drums kick in he just starts whamming on them and banging his head and he was totally still in Nirvana mode and it was so funny. I've looked for a video of the performance online but haven't been able to find one. If you find a link to one would you please leave it in my comments? Thanks.)

Dave was talking to Terry Gross about writing music for Nirvana. He said they never talked about music. That it just kind of formed naturally. Like Kurt would bring in this guitar lick that he'd come up with and then they'd just "jam" until they got what they wanted. He said the songs were really very simple and he compared them to nursery rhymes and then they played "Heart-shaped Box" and I'm listening to "I wish I could eat your cancer when it turns black" and I'm thinking WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SCARY ASS PARENTS DID YOU GROW UP WITH?

He also told this story about these miners trapped in a mine in Tanzania? I think? And they were able to drill a hole down to them and they said to them, "We're working on getting you out. Until we can reach you, is there anything you need?" and the guy asked for an iPod with the latest Foo Fighters CD loaded to it. So Dave wrote the guy a song and put it on their new CD. It's called "Ballad of the Beaconsfield Miners."

You can listen to the interview here.

First Dominos, now Campbell's

Can we please have a moratorium on ads for food that smear their product all over an actor's face? Gross.

After the Protest, the Tom Petty Documentary Screening

I found out about it last week on Pop Candy, the USA Today blog. The post said new documentary...screening only one night...link to list of cities...link to trailer...four hours long...I didn't bother clicking on the list of cities, b/c what ever screens in Memphis other than the occasional Craig Brewer movie? But I do enjoy reading comments on that site (one of them said, "4 hours long?? This is a movie about Tom Petty, right? Not the Civil War?" which I thought was pretty funny.) and one girl complained that it was showing in Memphis and not Nashville boo hoo hoo and I was all

Wait! IT'S SHOWING IN MEMPHIS??

And I immediately went online and bought a ticket b/c I don't care if it's 12 hours with no bathroom breaks, dude! Tom Petty!

Well, it turns out I needn't have pre-bought my ticket b/c there were only about 40 people in the theater. I told Big Daddy, "There were actually a lot of people there alone, like me." and he said, "I'll bet. You'd really have to want to see that."

(And they did give us an intermission - 15 minutes about 2 and 1/2 hours in.)

I'm so glad I decided to watch it on the big screen though. I was completely enrapt. There was no voiceover narration - it was all interviews. I can't even imagine how many hours of interviews they must have taped with Tom.

And this was a film that begged to be made if for no other reason than oh em gee, there is A LOT of footage of these guys! Seriously. All the way back to their garage band (with sound) and their initial road trip to LA. I mean, what genius thought to film all that way back then?

I can't remember when TP & the HBs first came into my life. It's like they were just always there. His first album came out when I was 10 and not really listening to popular music yet. (I had a Donny Osmond album, which I almost hesitate to mention in the same sentence as Tom Petty.) His next album came out when I was 12 and listening to music on my clock radio. I can't remember a time that I didn't know the words to "Refugee."

In the 80s, we loved the "Don't Come Around Here" video. My first Tom Petty album (and still my favorite I think) was Full Moon Fever ('89), which my brother turned me on to. "Into the Great Wide Open" came out in the 90s when I was going through a folk-singer period in my personal life. I've always thought of TP and the HBs as THE true American music.

A four-hour documentary could seem a bit self-indulgent, I suppose, IF YOU'RE NOT THE GREATEST AMERICAN SINGER/SONGWRITER EVER. (Sorry, Bruce fans.)

I learned a lot I didn't know about Tom and the group, like for instance his legal battles with the record company - twice. And I came out with all sorts of cool bits of information that I keep sharing with Big Daddy.

Me: "Did you know that Tom Petty originally wrote 'Don't Come Around Here No More' for Stevie Nicks?"
Big Daddy: ...
(I'm not sure Big Daddy knows the song or even who Stevie Nicks is.)

Me: "Did you know someone burned down Tom Petty's house one time just as he was about to go on tour? His family lost everything."
Big Daddy: "Really? Did he lose that ridiculous top hat he used to wear?"

One thing I learned is that if you're over 50 it's not a good idea to work with Tom Petty. It's literally the kiss of death. Not for your career. Oh no, you'll probably get a huge hit out of it. But then you'll die. For real. Roy Orbison, George Harrison, Johnny Cash.

(The only exception to this rule is Bob Dylan, but I'm even suspicious of that. I'm pretty sure he died about 25 years ago. What you're seeing now is Zombie Bob.)

I also did not know that Johnny Depp played Eddie in the "Into the Great Wide Open" video. I had to watch that on YouTube the next day. And that guy at the end of the video, getting the tattoo? Matt LeBlanc.

Tom had a couple of great lines in the film. When he was talking about working with Johnny Cash, he was saying how rock & roll's roots are in country music - "Real country music, not what they call country today, which is basically a bad rock band with a fiddle."

(Another cool story: Tom said when Johnny recorded "Won't Back Down," it made him - Tom - wish that he'd never recorded it first.)

Another time, his reason for some record or another was because "Rock stars were being invented on game shows." Which is a pretty awesome dig at American Idol.

TP hasn't changed much over the last three decades, but I decided my favorite Tom Petty is the young, thin, shorter-haired, clean-shaven, big teeth Tom.

One last great story:
Full Moon Fever was Tom's first solo effort, but the Heartbreakers all played on it to one degree or another. He invited his bass player, Howie, to come play on one song. He listened to the song and said he didn't really want to play on it. He said he didn't like the song. Tom was all, "What do you mean you don't like the song?" and Howie said, "I don't think it's a good song. I don't want to play on it."

It was FREE FALLIN'.

I'm not sure if the guy was stupid, crazy or just pissed off about the solo album. He later died from complications of a heroin addiction so I'm leaning toward the crazy.

I'm sure there are more great stories to share. I've been rolling this post around in my head for a couple of days now, trying to decide how much of the film to relate. I so thoroughly enjoyed it that I would love to tell you the story from start to finish but as we've already determined, that would take four hours and I don't really want to spend four hours typing this post. I don't imagine you'd really want to spend four hours reading it either.

So I'll leave you with:

Top Five Favorite Tom Petty Songs:
1. Listen to Her Heart
2. Yer So Bad
3. American Girl
4. Runnin' Down a Dream
5. Mary Jane's Last Dance

(OK, one last last story: Tom didn't want to make "Greatest Hits" but he was contractually obligated. And they made him add one new song which he was dead set against b/c how can it be one of his greatest hits if it hasn't even been released yet? So, in protest, he pulled this old song that was supposed to be on Full Moon Fever but was never finished. He finished it up, got the band in a room and recorded it. "Mary Jane's Last Dance" ended up being one of his most popular singles of all time.)

Think of it as a commercial break

While I'm still getting my thoughts together on my other post - the second great thing I did on Monday - I have this meme from Kaleigh with these rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post the rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random and some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of post and list their names.
4. Let them know they were tagged by a comment on their blog.

I don't think there's seven people who read this blog, but we'll try this anyway. So seven random things. Huh.

Number One: I love to read, but I don't read mysteries, chick lit or anyone who has an entire shelf (or more) in the bookstore. This eliminates a lot of what's out there. I just like a good story that's well written. Since you can't exactly do a search for that on Amazon, I'm always scoping out book recommendations.

Number Two: I mostly buy paperbacks and then give them away after I've finished. If I give you a book to read and my name's not in the front cover, then I mean for you to pass it on after you read it. I don't want it back. I can't take the accumulation.

Number Three: I am in love with the New York Times and could spend hours reading it every day, only I don't have that kind of time (or money).

Number Four: I have a girl-crush on Kate Winslet.

Number Five: I have this photo

on my desktop because I just love how each of these people (Dita, Karl & Posh) rock their own style. I think they're FABULOUS.

Number Six: I wear high heels every day and I hate when people comment on how high my shoes are. How do you respond to "You're shoes are so high!"? "Thanks."? "I know."? "And yours are so boring!"?

Number Seven: I have a red sharpie addiction and I think the twin-tip combination ones that are fine point at one end and ultra fine at the other are GENIUS. I have seven of them on my desk right now.

Now I'm supposed to tag seven people so here goes: Carmen, Badger, Kristine, Leslie, Lys, Nina & Michelle. I'm pretty sure that's everyone who reads here who has a blog. (And some of them may have already done this.) But there it is. Going to leave them comments now, and I'm pretty sure that meets all my obligations.

First, was the Protest

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Bush came to town to attend a fundraiser for our republican senator (I say that like we only have one.). Here are some interesting facts about the fundraiser:

• The cost for those invited was $1,000 a plate
• If you wanted your photo w/ the president you had to raise $10,000
• The senator doesn't have anyone running against him in the primary
• He has no Democratic challenger in the general election either
• Even so, he has $1.94 million in his war chest
• Luckily, just to be safe, they raised an additional $750,000 at the lunch yesterday
• (That's a lot of photos)

The protest was planned and executed by the Mid-South Peace and Justice Center. They had a bunch of those yard signs that say "Stop the War" and then the word "Iraq" is spelled out like a car's odometer and the Q is spinning over to an N. Have you seen those? Some people made their own signs that said things like "No War" and "Money for Kids, Not War" and "Healthcare Not War" and "No Blood for Democracy." I also made my own sign. I went with "I MISS BILL" which I put on bright green poster board.

You can't miss me in this screen shot from the Fox affiliate's web site:

The lunch was held at a home off Central Ave, a tree-lined street through a very old-money neighborhood. The guy hosting the lunch is the former CEO of Saks, if that tells you anything. We gathered in front of the Pink Palace Museum, where guests were parking and being shuttled to the home. The guests were pretty easy to pick out. They were the ones in SUVs. Most of them ignored us, but some acted like they were afraid of us. Beware the peace-mongering war protesters!!

When the shuttles stopped running, we marched down to the cross street where the Saks guy lives. The street was closed off by a big black car and several people were standing around - secret service, Memphis PD and SWAT team members. We stood on the opposite side of Central from them, but an MPD came over and told us we couldn't stand there. He said our protest permit only allowed us past this street and that street.

Here is a picture from today's paper of a Memphis police officer explaining to us the exact location of where our Freedom of Speech starts and ends.

So we proceeded further west on Central b/c that was the direction the motorcade would be coming from the airport. Soon the police closed off all traffic on Central and all the side streets for as far as we could see were blocked with police cars. We knew they were on their way. We chanted and waved our signs. The sky clouded over and the air grew still. Rain was coming. We waited. We waited about 30 minutes I guess. At one point, I thought I heard motorcycles coming. Then, the police cars moved and traffic returned and it was all over - the motorcade had come in through Buntyn Station in order to avoid the protesters. That would be the street that runs parallel to Central but on the other end of the Saks guy's street. Yeah, they brought him in the back way to avoid us. In the process, he got to see Orange Mound instead of Chicsaw Gardens. Yay Memphis. Way to make an impression.

We began making the trek back toward the Museum where we were parked, hoping to get to our cars before the rain came down. Because you know if we got wet, it would have just proven to those Christian Conservative Right-wing Republicans that GOD IS ON THEIR SIDE.

As we walked, this guy on a bicycle rode down Central. He was on the opposite side of the street from us (you know, you ride with traffic) but apparently that was the WRONG side of the street, b/c a cop pulled in front of him and stopped him. Then more cops came speeding up. In about 10 seconds there were SEVEN police cars surrounding this guy ON A BICYCLE.

Beware the dangerous bicycler!

We all stopped walking to watch what was happening. Some of those crazy liberals started chanting "Leave the Biker Alone!" It was pretty funny.

As soon as I got back to my car, the skies opened up and the rains come down. Which just proves God does actually hate the war, too.

Update coming

I attended two really cool events yesterday. They were both so great that I will have to do a post on each of them separately. In order to give them the justice due, I'll write about them tonight after work, so check back later...

"I am Shiva, God of Death!"

Big Daddy & I went to see George Clooney's new movie "Michael Clayton" this afternoon.

(I haven't been to a movie in quite a while. I usually don't like to go to the movie theater. I used to think it was because I couldn't stand people talking around me during the film. Today I started to realize that it is in fact because those chairs really hurt my back.)

The movie was kind of slow for a while there, but the ending was GREAT. You know, he plays the "fixer" of a large law office - the "janitor," the guy who comes in and "cleans up." And for a while there, I was starting to think that I was misled, and the movie wasn't about a specific case leading to anxiety and intensity and a blow-out ending at all, but rather about a man and his job and here's what he does and isn't he remarkable? But yes, it was in fact about a specific case and does eventually have plenty of intensity and as I mentioned before, a GREAT ending. So if you're thinking of seeing it, hang in there through the slow part.

I think we may have seen more than one Oscar-worthy performance today. George, for sure. Although I had a hard time not focusing on all the eyeliner under his eyes and the dimple over his right eyebrow.

(And seriously. How easy does George's makeup person have it? A little eyeliner...a little blush...okay, you're done here.)

As has become common for George's choice of films, this one had a really smart story with a really smart script. By that I mean that you can't really just veg out and watch the film. You have to THINK about what's going on in order to actually follow it. (See also: Syriana)

I recommend it if for no other reason than staring at George Clooney is not a bad way to spend two-and-a-half hours. Also starring Tilda Swinton (did she gain weight for that part?) and Sydney Pollack who I think has been playing the boss in movies since "Tootsie."

Which way is the dancer spinning?

It's one of those right brain vs. left brain tests. If you're a right brain creative-type (like me), the dancer appears to be spinning clockwise. If you're a left brain analytic-type (like Big Daddy), she appears to be spinning counterclockwise. Seriously ya'll, I tried and tried to see it counterclockwise, but just couldn't. Now my head kind of hurts.

My Kid could see it both ways.

What do you see?

What would you say?

Bush is coming to Memphis on Monday for a $1,000-a-plate fundraiser for our republican senator Lamar Alexander. Just to put that into perspective, we will spend $12 million on the war in Iraq during the four hours that they will be wining and dining.

(I can't believe any republicans actually still WANT his appearance at their events. But I digress.)

The Mid-South Peace & Justice Center is organizing a protest from 2-4 outside the event. (Memphis readers: Meet at Central in front of Pink Palace Museum if you're interested in attending.) Luckily, I work for a democrat, so I think I can probably get off work.

(Remember? I attended the last protest when he was here during the election. Man, it was GREAT.)

I'm guessing the MSPJC will have some kinds of signs or something they'll hand out (last time, it was Kerry signs) but I think I'm going to make my own. I mean, this is my chance to make my "voice" heard, so to "speak" (heh.).

But I'm having a hard time deciding what I want to say. So I'm looking to you for some help. What do you think is THE most pressing issue facing our nation today? If you could say anything to the president, what would it be? What would your sign say?

Leave your suggestions in the comments.

Losing the Presidency was the best thing that ever happened to him

Al Gore has won this year an Oscar, an Emmy and now the Nobel Peace Prize.

I'd say he's having a pretty damn good year.

I, on the other hand, feel like I'm living in some sort of weird parallel universe.

Jumping on the Mary Jane bandwagon

I ordered these shoes from Zappos last night.



(If I were a photographer, my dream job would be to work at zappos.com taking photos of shoes from all different angles all day long. AM I RIGHT??)

I pulled together all these links for you today and then got busy and forgot to post them. Oh well.

Craig Ferguson is one of my favorite TV personalities. I think he's hilarious and so cute! His monologues are far more creative than anyone else on late night, even though I can only understand about 80 percent of what he says.

Marc Anthony's ex-wife Diarrhea or whatever her name is has CONFIRMED J-LO'S PREGNANCY! That's just wrong.

I'm not a huge fan of Penelope Cruz, but I think I might actually like these two together.

Vicky Beckham has some photos posted from her Elle magazine photo shoot in Paris. I just love how that girl rocks her style.

Update on the murder of U of M football player Taylor Bradford: arrests have been made.

This group Band of Horses is also today's free Song of the Day at Starbucks.

I spent far more time creating this post than you will reading it

All day I’ve kinda floundered about the internet – wanting to post but not really having anything to post about. So I stole this meme from Badger, because I love books.

What you do is take the following list of books (the top 106 marked most often as "unread" by LibraryThing’s users). Bold the ones you've read, italicize the ones you started but couldn't finish, strike through the ones you really sort of hated, put an asterisk next to the ones you've read more than once, and underline the ones on your own personal To Be Read list.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice*
Jane Eyre
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveller’s Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran: a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian : a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes
The God of Small Things
A people’s history of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything (This is one of my FAVORITE writers)
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
In Cold Blood
White teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers


So what have we learned about kalisah? Let's review:

1. [Have reads in bold] I haven't read very many of the classics. With few exceptions, I mostly read books in the decade during which they were written.
2. [Hated titles are struckthru] The only books I really hate are ones I was made to read in an English class - Great Expectations in 9th grade and Sound & the Fury in college
3. I'm not much of a re-reader. Other than my one asterisk above, I can only think of two other books I've read more than once: To Kill a Mockingbird and Great Gatsby.
4. [ Books I'd like to read] I love books so much, than when I got to the underlining part, I went to amazon and looked up all the titles I wasn't familiar with. You know, to see if maybe I do in fact want to read that book, I just didn't know it. Mostly I found that I didn't.

A few housekeeping issues

Yesterday, Big Daddy says to me, "Can you get some Bounce or something? Our towels smell moldy. Even when they're clean."

And I cringed just a little bit because I pride myself on using lots of good-smelling laundry stuff so everything is clean and soft and fresh. (Plus, I haven't used Bounce in years. I use Downey. The Fresh Linen scent. And the Lavendar on sheets, which is sleep-inducing.)

But I kind of knew what he was talking about, because I've noticed that same, mildewy smell. Coming from my washing machine.

(To be completely honest, I thought it was my fault. We have an outside dog who is not house-trained and when it gets really hot in the summertime, we let her inside and keep her in the laundry room. Only she would pee in there and it would get up under the washer and dryer where I couldn't clean it up. So I started laying down some big old towels in there for her. So when she peed, the towels soaked it up. Then I would throw the towels out in the garage until I washed them. Only one time, I think I kind of put some of the pee towels in the washer. And maybe closed the door. And left them in there for a day or two. I can't remember why now, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Or at least like an okay idea. And then my washer took on this strong stench of ammonia. I thought it would go away after a few washes, and it did, sort of. It's not so strong now. And not so ammonia-y.)

So I decided today to go online and see what the recommended procedure is for deodorizing one's washing machine. And it turns out this mildewy smell in front-load washers is a fairly common problem.

Here is some solutions I've found that I'm trying out today:

• Pulled out the detergent/bleach/fabric softener dispenser drawer and cleaned it thoroughly with hot water and bleach (There was some mildew growth on the back of it.)
• Ran an empty load of hot water and bleach
• Threw out all my liquid HE detergent, which was almost empty anyway (although I'm holding on to my Downey for now)
• Went to the store and bought powder HE detergent, white vinegar, and a couple varieties of dryer sheets
• Am currently running a second empty load, this time with hot water, detergent and vinegar
• Will then run an empty load of hot water to rinse everything out of the machine before I put clothes back into it
• Will then wash a test load of towels with powder detergent and dryer sheets
• If the smell does not come back, I will eventually add back the Downey and see if that makes the smell return

Do you have a front-load washer? Have you noticed a problem like this? What did you do to get rid of it? How have you kept it from returning?

Free Music!

I don't know if you're aware of this, but Starbucks is giving away a free song a day for the entire month of October. Each day, they'll give you a little card with a picture of the artist for that day's song (I got Joni Mitchell yesterday and Emily King today) and an iTunes code for the free download. It's a nice way to check out some new music at no cost to you.

My Skincare Creed

I. I believe most skincare products are hooey.

II. I do not believe there is anything I can purchase and apply to my skin that will slow down or reverse the signs of aging.

III. I do believe that a skincare regimen can start and end with simply choosing a gentle cleanser for your face. (I myself choose "Purpose" because, as much as Cetaphil is touted by the magazines as the perfect gentle cleanser, it feels like semen. There. I said it. And you know I'm right.)

IV. I do not believe moisturizer does anything to your skin other than lay down a layer of something soft so it feels smoother. (Confession: I have not applied moisturizer to this face in a good 8 or 9 months. And guess what? It feels exactly the same as when I was slathering it on morning and night.)

V. I do use body lotion (after I shave, for instance) but I do not fool myself into thinking it's doing anything other than providing a temporary topical solution.

VI. I do not believe that by applying eye cream in your 20s and 30s you will reduce the amount of crows feet you will get in your 40s and 50s and beyond.

VII. I do believe in exfoliation but find that wiping my face with a clean, dry washrag usually does the trick.

While we're posting on serious topics

"The American government has come to resemble the characters in The Wizard of Oz. We have the Cowardly Congress, a president without a brain, and a foreign-policy establishment without a heart...."

Read this weeks Memphis Flyer Rant.

Crossing the Line

So the jury says Isaiah Thomas is guilty of sexual harassment and The Garden wrongfully fired the woman because of her complaint. She's about to get a whole lotta big money.

For a liberal feminist, I have such mixed feelings about sexual harassment. First, let me just say that I've been sexually harassed in A LOT of my jobs, I was just too young to know that's what it was. Someone maybe needs to explain to high school girls that if you're working in an office with older men and they're joking about sex or paying you unwanted compliments about your clothing and/or body, you're probably being harassed according to the letter of the law.

I know that the definition of harassment is determined by whether or not it creates a "hostile" environment. But isn't that kind of subjective? Because a sexual comment made by the young hottie from the mail room is going to be considered "flirting" where the exact same comment made by a gross old man from accounting is now "harassment." And therein lies the problem with me.

Is it a "hostile working environment" if you go to work for a pro sports club, like say an NBA team, which by nature is a male-dominated industry (based on the fact that the players, coaches, etc. are men), and you participate in "team outings" which take place in strip clubs? The argument could be made that if it's work-related they shouldn't be at a strip club. Or, that if it's at a strip club it's not work-related, and therefore your being there is your own choice. So the fact that an intern had sex with Stephon Marbury in the trunk of his car after such a team outing doesn't necessarily constitute a "dysfunctional, hostile and lewd" environment to me.

Part of me feels like I should be sticking up for the young intern, but since she's not screaming rape, I'm assuming that she chose to be there and, like the 20-something kalisah, probably found the attention flattering. I just don't see where the fact that this kind of thing goes on should matter to someone who works in the office. (Keep in mind the sex-in-the-trunk intern is NOT the same woman who filed the lawsuit. She was, in fact, the VP of Marketing.)

I just want women to take responsibility for themselves and their own behavior, which includes how one reacts to behaviors around her. I don't think anyone should have to suffer unwanted touching or overly vulgar remarks, but come on! Put on your big girl panties and stand up for yourself. Deal with it like you deal with any of the other massive amounts of bullshit you have to put up with at work. Because seriously? I'd rather contend with a dirty old man than a lazy ass slacker who's not doing their job. At least I can slap the dirty old man.

In My City

While the rest of the country mourns the death of Flower the Meerkat, Memphis wakes up to the news this morning that one of the U of M Tiger football players was shot and killed on campus last night.

While the news is tragic, some say it's not surprising, given that last week the FBI ranked Memphis #1 in the nation in violent crime. Still, to read the comments on the web stories about last night's shooting, both on our daily paper's site as well as on USA Today, one gets the sense of both the extreme racial tension that persists in our city as well as the impression of black crime as a whole.

My husband and I have debated leaving Memphis for years, mostly because it bothers us to raise a child in a place where racism is so rampant. I'm sure there are multiple reasons why the hatred continues to be so vicious here. Was the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr a cause or a symptom of the problem? I don't know, but the emotions from that time remain alive and passionate. The possible re-election next week of a four-term mayor (the city's first African-American leader) has been extremely divisive. As have several ethical scandals in local politics that have apparently involved only African-American elected officials.

Is it a Memphis phenomenon that when a football player is shot and killed, people start bemoaning the "thug life" and asking such helpful questions as "Why do black people keep killing each other?"

I admit, we've been part of the flight out of the city limits. We moved to the county five or six years ago for many reasons - cheaper taxes, better schools, more affordable housing, and yes - less crime. But we certainly didn't move to escape black people, or any other race. Some internet commenters would be quick to correlate the two - that the crime in Memphis is perpetrated by the black population but I don't know enough of the facts to make that statement myself. It certainly would seem that way if you believe local media coverage. But does the media report a disproportionate number of the black crime - maybe because it's simply more sensational and if it bleeds, it leads and all that? Or maybe a disproportionate number of blacks are arrested in this city?

I read once that the reason violent crime exists is because people feel that their own life has no value, so they ultimately have no respect for any human life. This is a theory I can get behind, but where then lies the solution? My city is like that really difficult person in your life that you want to love, but they make it so damn hard.