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The worst part of being a working mom is that you just don't ever get a day off. I can spend the weekend in bed, but the laundry, it's not going to do itself.
So ladies, what do we do at this point? WE PLAY LAUNDRY BLACKJACK. This is a game with just one simple rule: find the right combination of clothes to put into the washer and receive the biggest payoff.
Whites? That'll give me underwear, and My Teenager some undershirts to wear under his jersey in his upcoming basketball games. (He was invited to play in a holiday tournament.) Whites are like...a face card.
Dress coloreds? I do need them, but it's Wednesday already. I can do Thursday and Friday with one hand tied behind my back. Dress coloreds: Eight.
Dark coloreds (jeans, boxers, t-shirts & polos)? The teen doesn't go back to school until January 7. He doesn't need clean clothes to lay around the house and play Xbox. Although the boxers may prove to become an issue sometime before the new year. Dark Coloreds: Ten.
White towels and socks? The boy is definitely going to need some socks. No WAY he can go without clean socks. Because seriously? Pee. YEW. Bleachable Whites: Ace.
Colored towels (bath size)? Ehh. I never throw away towels. The three of us could easily go two months without washing towels. Well...we could if people around here would hang up a towel and use it more than once what do you think this is anyway a fucking hotel??? Towels: a TWO.
Sheets? Please. I put clean ones on Sunday. I am not studying those dirty ones. Not, you know...until I need them. And surely they'll be washed by then. Sheets: a three.
And here's how you hit the lucky 21: You take some underwear and undershirts (a face card) and throw in some socks (Ace!) and BLACKJACK!
(It won't kill the socks to not be bleached this one time. If they're permanently stained then whatev. They have tons more at Target.)
The second mixed load will include my dress shirts and his boxers = 18. It's not a knock-out but it's just a runner-up so it doesn't have to be. Runners up get washed tomorrow. What? The Xmas episode of Gossip Girl is about to be on. And I need to wash my hair.
A girl's gotta have her priorities in order.
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2 comments:
Fucking A! I never looked at laundry as a game before!
I have exactly the same problem. However, I very seldom sort and I just throw whatever i need into one load and hope for the best. Yes indeedy, my whites and my coloreds touch each other in the washing machine! Don't tell my mother.
I play the same type of game with my own laundry (my clothes and the kids', that is. Hubby insists on doing his own because he has a lot of stupid laundry rules that were handed down from his mother. Unfortunately, Hubby's laundry rules do not extend to "make sure you do not do Wifey's laundry as a a 'favor' and in the process ruin the abfab sweater that she spent weeks knitting with her own two hands.) Hmmm, time for one load between fixing dinner and falling asleep? School uniforms for the week+a few light colored blouses to go under the suits that just came back from the dry cleaner+a couple pairs of tan/grey trousers= a perfectly balanced warm water/gentle cycle load.
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