Untitled at the risk of going on morbid poetry for-whom-the-bell-tolls on you

Big Daddy had a lot of family in town last weekend. His niece and nephew (who are only just younger than he is) and their three children were here. They are the children of Big Daddy's sister who died of cancer about 10 years ago (she was 49).

My in-laws have never really gotten over the loss of their only daughter, especially Dad. I don't think it's ever easy to bury your child, no matter the age. As Sally Field said in Steel Magnolias, you're always ready to go first.

They enjoyed seeing their sixth, seventh and eighth great-grandchildren, but I think it breaks their heart that their daughter never got to see her grandchildren. It's all bittersweet to them.

Dad is going to be 87 next week. Which, let's face it, is pretty amazing. But his grandchildren really noticed a difference in him from the last time they visited. I guess it's harder for us to notice, since we see them so often. He's losing his vision from macular degeneration, and is nearly completely deaf. Mom worries that he's getting Alzheimer's, but I think his occasional memory loss is pretty typical of the aging process.

But the grandchildren noticed how he's "turned inward." He didn't speak to them hardly at all, slept all day, would want to leave the restaurant as soon as he finished dinner. Big Daddy thinks it's b/c he can't hear or see so well, but they referred to it as this "turning inward." His niece felt like this is part of the normal aging process, when one's life is winding down and one begins to prepare oneself for the end of one's life. Not consciously perhaps, but just as part of the life cycle.
I don't know, because this is all new territory to me. My father died after a fairly lengthy illness when he was in his early 70s. My grandmother and grandfather both died suddenly and also in their mid-70s. So I've not ever dealt with old age and the process of a life slowly coming to an end naturally.

I definitely noticed when it was time to say good bye that Dad was nowhere around. I got the strong feeling that it is hard for him to say good bye to anyone any more. He thinks it may be forever.

After having this discussion with the grandchildren Sunday night, I brought it up to Big Daddy yesterday. I felt like he needed to be aware of what everyone else seems to be noticing. I think it probably upset him. He didn't really show it but I imagine he knows this and does not like to speak of it aloud.

Later last night, his mother called. Dad had made the comment to her that he was "not long for this earth." Big Daddy was very upset. He thought one of us had said something to THEM about this. He thought it was one hell of a coincidence if we hadn't.

What I tried to explain to him is that it's not coincidence at all. It's there. It's something that everyone is feeling and noticing, including Dad.

If anyone has any experience with this I'd appreciate your perspective.