My Skincare Creed

I. I believe most skincare products are hooey.

II. I do not believe there is anything I can purchase and apply to my skin that will slow down or reverse the signs of aging.

III. I do believe that a skincare regimen can start and end with simply choosing a gentle cleanser for your face. (I myself choose "Purpose" because, as much as Cetaphil is touted by the magazines as the perfect gentle cleanser, it feels like semen. There. I said it. And you know I'm right.)

IV. I do not believe moisturizer does anything to your skin other than lay down a layer of something soft so it feels smoother. (Confession: I have not applied moisturizer to this face in a good 8 or 9 months. And guess what? It feels exactly the same as when I was slathering it on morning and night.)

V. I do use body lotion (after I shave, for instance) but I do not fool myself into thinking it's doing anything other than providing a temporary topical solution.

VI. I do not believe that by applying eye cream in your 20s and 30s you will reduce the amount of crows feet you will get in your 40s and 50s and beyond.

VII. I do believe in exfoliation but find that wiping my face with a clean, dry washrag usually does the trick.