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So the jury says Isaiah Thomas is guilty of sexual harassment and The Garden wrongfully fired the woman because of her complaint. She's about to get a whole lotta big money.
For a liberal feminist, I have such mixed feelings about sexual harassment. First, let me just say that I've been sexually harassed in A LOT of my jobs, I was just too young to know that's what it was. Someone maybe needs to explain to high school girls that if you're working in an office with older men and they're joking about sex or paying you unwanted compliments about your clothing and/or body, you're probably being harassed according to the letter of the law.
I know that the definition of harassment is determined by whether or not it creates a "hostile" environment. But isn't that kind of subjective? Because a sexual comment made by the young hottie from the mail room is going to be considered "flirting" where the exact same comment made by a gross old man from accounting is now "harassment." And therein lies the problem with me.
Is it a "hostile working environment" if you go to work for a pro sports club, like say an NBA team, which by nature is a male-dominated industry (based on the fact that the players, coaches, etc. are men), and you participate in "team outings" which take place in strip clubs? The argument could be made that if it's work-related they shouldn't be at a strip club. Or, that if it's at a strip club it's not work-related, and therefore your being there is your own choice. So the fact that an intern had sex with Stephon Marbury in the trunk of his car after such a team outing doesn't necessarily constitute a "dysfunctional, hostile and lewd" environment to me.
Part of me feels like I should be sticking up for the young intern, but since she's not screaming rape, I'm assuming that she chose to be there and, like the 20-something kalisah, probably found the attention flattering. I just don't see where the fact that this kind of thing goes on should matter to someone who works in the office. (Keep in mind the sex-in-the-trunk intern is NOT the same woman who filed the lawsuit. She was, in fact, the VP of Marketing.)
I just want women to take responsibility for themselves and their own behavior, which includes how one reacts to behaviors around her. I don't think anyone should have to suffer unwanted touching or overly vulgar remarks, but come on! Put on your big girl panties and stand up for yourself. Deal with it like you deal with any of the other massive amounts of bullshit you have to put up with at work. Because seriously? I'd rather contend with a dirty old man than a lazy ass slacker who's not doing their job. At least I can slap the dirty old man.
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5 comments:
AMEN! You said it perfectly!
I work in a male dominated environment. Unfortunately, we all joke about everything and in a different type of work it might be considered sexual harassment. HOWEVER, I will say that even then, you can DEFINITELY tell the difference between playful banter among colleagues and blatant harassment.
I will also say that I CHOOSE to work in a male dominated field and therefore choose to be part of the boy's club. I also therefore choose NOT to participate in outings to strip clubs and/or other things that would possibly lead to something more than casual office humor.
Basically, you're right...as a woman you have to take responsibility for your actions. Think before you do...you'd better be willing to lie in your own grave if you dig it and not blame someone else for digging it.
Great post!
kudos! kudos! kudos! i agree with you 100%.
Wearing unprovocative clothing (ie, skirts below fingertips, and NOY revealing cleavage) would help.
You know, you're right. I've NEVER subscribed to the "she was asking for it, she was dressed like a hooker" defense of rape, but come on! If you go to the office in skirts up to here and bustlines down to there, don't get pissed when people make sexual remarks.
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