Oh god, it's another post on bikini waxing.

So. Did I tell you that my bikini waxer went and got herself married and moved out of town? Yeah, it's tragic really. My friend who also went to her said, "It's like losing your therapist!" and it really is, given the intimate nature of the relationship.

When Neena told me she was leaving, I asked for a recommendation of someone else I could start going to. She recommended her friend Rosalie who she had worked with for 10 years. Neena said Rosalie was the only person whose work she'd ever personally witnessed.

Rosalie works at a nice, new salon/spa out by the new mall in the suburbs. I had my first appointment with her last night after work. Of course I was late. First, there was an accident on the expressway which sucked for me. I thought I'd given myself plenty of time to drive given that rush hour would have been wrapping up by then, but it had rained and I totally forgot that when Memphis drivers drive in the rain, it washes away any lick of sense they might have ever had. Anyway, once I got passed the accident tie-up, I took the wrong exit off the expressway which totally pissed me off and made me feel like a complete moron. I shop out at this new mail fairly regularly, it's just that I live out that way and I've never come at it from downtown before and had to take the expressway.

I was about 30 minutes late by the time I finally got there. Rosalie was completely nice and understanding about it - she told me I was her last appointment for the day so it really didn't matter - but my god those bitchy girls at the front desk [remember the "clackers" in Devil Wears Prada? Yeah.] couldn't even be bothered to pick up their chins resting in their hands when I walked in.

As I said, the spa is very nice with aromatherapy smelling up the place and new age music playing and to be honest, it was a much better overall experience than where I used to go to see Neena. We went into the dimly lit room and Rosalie said, "Have you ever had a Brazilian wax before?" and I said, "Oh yeah, I'm one of Neena's girls." and she said, "OK, good. You know the drill then. I'll just give you a minute." and she left so I could get undressed in private which is way more formal than we ever were at Neena's, where I'd just walk in, strip down & hop up on the table.

Only, I looked at the table...AND I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHICH END TO PUT MY HEAD!! The wax was set up on a table to one side, but not at one end or the other. And the light/microscope thingy was kind of in the middle too. (knock, knock) "Are you ready?" "Yes," I said. And she enters the room and there I stand in my bra & tank top, completely naked from the waist down. "Erm...I didn't know which end to put my head..." It was a little embarrassing, but I would have been mortified if I'd laid down and she walked in and said, "Uhh, honey? I need your hoo-ha down here."

Overall, the experience wasn't bad. She explained that they use a different wax there - a soy wax - that she wasn't particularly happy with, but I actually had less pain and even less swelling and irritation afterward.

But the biggest difference was that Neena always talked to me while she was working. In fact, she encouraged me to talk and I soon figured out that she did that to help keep my mind off the pain. Kind of like the breathing exercises in labor. I would be talking to her about something and then I would pause, steeling myself for the rip, and she would say, "Keep talking." But this lady, when she talked to me? SHE WOULD STOP WORKING! And I'd be laying there with my knees pulled up to my chest while she rambled on and on about how great it was to have your kids seven years apart and I'm all, "Dude, can we focus here??" So that was weird. Maybe I shouldn't have started talking to her when she worked.

Also? She would want me to look at it and tell her if was okay. And I'm thinking, "Lady, I am 40 years old. Unless you want to hand me a mirror, there is no way I'm gonna be able to tell if it's clean down there." I told her just make sure it was all off and left it at that.

She cut me a deal from what the salon typically charges but it still cost me more than it used to because I used to pay Neena directly, so I didn't add a tip. But here, I have to pay the salon, so I knew Rosalie only made a percentage of it. So I added a tip and the total still came to $100 - what the salon normally charges for a Brazilian.

Overall, I was pleased. I plan to stick with her b/c even though it cost a little more, the atmosphere is really nice. And even though she took twice as long b/c of all the conversation, I seemed to have less pain and after effects. But seriously? I would rather loose my hair guy than go through finding a new bikini waxer again.