It's apparent you're a parent

Things I say that prove I'm a mother:

"Pick up your shoes."

"Bring me your laundry."

"Have you brushed your teeth?"

"Get your shoes out of the walkway, please."

"The trash men come EVERY Tuesday. Do you need an engraved invitation to bring up the trashcan?"

[Surveying his room]: "Pick up all this crap."

"Seriously. MOVE THE SHOES."

"Call me when you get there."

"Call me if you leave there."

"You're under 18. I must know where you are at ALL TIMES. It's the law."

"See the dirty dishes in the sink? That means the ones in the dishwasher are clean. Please put them away."

"You have zits on your nose. Are you washing your face?"

"You need a haircut."

"Have a good day. Learn lots. Make good choices."

"I love you."

(I stole this post idea from Carmen, who is six times the mom I am.)